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Post by Admin on Aug 12, 2020 18:54:26 GMT
Heck, all information is shared, even stuff you don't share, even when fill out applications for jobs online...
I think companies you apply for, resumes you fill out, I suspect companies even sell that information for big profit!
It's why you can visit some sites, and then get flyers in the mail about 'theme' you visited on site, how do they know your physical address when didn't even enter it?
Well where do you share your physical address?, either on job applications or Government applications, so seems to me everyone is selling our private stuff to companies.
It's why people should think long and hard about sending out dozens of resumes to companies they don't even know they'll get hired to.
Some of these companies could even be fake, and just pretend they have job opening, just so 1000's will blindly send in resume or application, and then fake company turns around and sells that info.
First time you've heard that folks, but I bet you it goes on all the time now.
Yes, these companies sit on your personal data forever now, especially with the cloud storage and all, they sit on your data forever.
At least in the past, with paper applications, a fire could wipe it all out, not anymore.
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Post by Admin on Sept 19, 2020 15:30:59 GMT
Fell into a depression yesterday, what triggered it was my odd schedule, but then it got worse when had some beers.
But even then I wouldn't call it a depression, what really triggered it was when internet went down after I got done recording video, cause that's when I really felt 'cut off' from all with no way to feel alive.
Feeling alive is about expressing self to others, anyone who denies that is a liar.
So internet was down, then tried calling provider, couldn't get through to real operator, that made it even worse, then, the worst thing I did was try calling people I should not have.
People I know, but who aren't my friends, those are the worst types to call when drinking or drunk, cause you just make a fool out of yourself.
No matter how much passion you dump into people who don't like you, nothing will change in them, they will still give you that hypothetical distant stare, even while speaking or texting.
If you have good friends in your life, or even good family, you won't feel depressed after speaking to them.
If you have bad friends in your life, or even bad family, you'll always feel worse after speaking with them.
I seem to both have bad friends and bad family in life, cause I only call when drunk or drinking, and always feel worse about self when done.
So all I'm doing now is sleeping till next job shift starts, I'm simply taking a break from sleeping right now, and then I'll start all over Sunday morning when have another string of days off, this time no alcohol, and I'll try to stay more focused on projects I have going on, and of course I'll avoid both bad friends and bad family.
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Post by Admin on Oct 30, 2020 4:23:45 GMT
Soy Sauce
A bottle of Soy Sauce in my cabinet sat for over a year, I hardly used it, so didn't really notice it was emptying every time I did use it.
But as sauce in bottle got more shallow, I did begin to take notice, still though, nothing to panic about for weeks, months.
But then when sauce in bottle stood less than half a centimeter tall at bottom, then I was totally conscious of how little soy sauce was left, and could see it running out with each use.
It finally ran out and had to buy more.
My point is is I compare the life cycle of that soy sauce to the life cycle of life, our lives, in that when we have a lot of it, never seems it's going to run out, the same clock is always ticking, but we don't notice that until near the end.
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Post by Admin on Jan 26, 2021 22:18:45 GMT
Why I hate checking emails now
I hate checking my emails now, I just do, cause emails have such a feeling of being so 'yesterday', I mean whatever information I read from my is usually days, weeks, even months old, old issues already resolved, old disputes, long forgotten about, I just don't like emails...as much as I don't like going to regular snail mail box.
I use none of the features on email, not the instant messaging, none of that stuff, it's all mute to me.
I just don't like email anymore, not even sure why I still have, use, or need it, other than maybe for employment reasons, as when when you get a job, jobs love emailing gobs of stuff to you.
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Post by Admin on Feb 3, 2021 23:17:20 GMT
Been off for 4 days..and most lazy 4 days I've had off in years  I mean all I've been doing is drinking beer. Not good, for sure not good, but, I don't know, at least it's just beer and not anything else, for I have to work tomorrow. And going forward able to write on work schedule, but, but, here's what scares me about that. I have to be responsible with all the time I'll be having off for the next few months, I can't spend all my off time drinking beer or I'll get nothing done and eventually it will effect my health, hasn't yet, but will if I drink beer daily. Better beer than drugs though, I feel for those who get addicted to drugs...I can't, do to job random drug testing...but if like live in Oregon now, drug use has been decriminalized...look it up in the news. But that doesn't mean employers have to hire you if you fail drug test. Heck, I'm so paranoid about random drug tests that I don't even dare tak CBD oil. But I think CBD oil is more safe and better for the body than beer. In fact I've heard some hemp oil and mushroom type stuff, actually helps end addiction to drugs and alcohol. Oh well, I'm just going to enjoy this moment, cause it's upon me, and deal with tomorrow when it comes.
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Post by Admin on Mar 27, 2021 1:30:01 GMT
Ever just have a day that feels like one big mistake?Every just have a day that feels like one big mistake, a day you almost wish could of just slept through rather than awake and conscious to even more complicate your life. And what's even worse is when no one even cares about the above. When no one cares, it's like being out in the ocean on a boat all alone, and then falling into the water and cause you're alone, there's no one on the boat to throw you a life preserver...so either you force self to swim back to boat or you vanish or die. Your love of self, life, is the only thing that determines whether you make it back to the boat or not.  But even if, when, swim back to the boat, you're still alone. That's the sad reality for many.
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Post by Admin on Apr 12, 2021 20:18:34 GMT
I did receive my $1,400.00 stimulas check (sad I can't even spell the word), but I did receive it, but haven't cashed it yet...really why should I?
I thought I had more money than I had, but turns out place I stay, rent, cashed the check late...I'm still OK though, comfortable, not rich, for sure not rich, but not dirt broke either...I'm actually in a spot I wish I were in 20 years ago, but back then saving???
Save your money when I was younger???...ye right, stupid me.
But ye, the stimulas check, plus hopefully some money with tax return, will be a nice little boost.
Seems the only time I can really boost my checking account is waiting yearly for tax return and or I guess this is the 2nd or 3rd stimulas check?
Hey, I didn't approve the Bill, so if they want to send, send.
But 1,400 is nothing compared to what wealthy types, firms, agencies, ect get, they get money in the millions, hundreds of 1000's from these stimilus packages.
Yet a conservative type will growl at a poor person getting a $6oo.oo check, gone in a flash.
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Post by Admin on Apr 14, 2021 4:56:54 GMT
I want to get back into Podcasting, but my issue is the following
I'm not a one subject, topic type of soul, and in podcasting/broadcasting, that hurts you....cause listeners prefer a one tone, one ideology, left or right, black or white, gay or straight type of a host.
It's easier for them to follow you when you're just 'static', like Shawn Hannity who repeats himself every single day like a robot.
But sadly that's a successful formula in podcasting/broadcasting, is to be the same 'person' with the same 'outlook' ideas and views every single day, that's how you build a following.
My problem is I'm not like that, I can't just be the same person every day, my experience in life is just to broad for that, I've been around to many people to only express on, or the same view every single day...and that's why I struggled to build an audience.
I'm just the type that sees all sides of everything, I see the white side, I see the black side, I see the Hispanic side, I see the LGBTQ side, I see the 'strait' side, I see the left side, I see the right side, I see the Jewish side, I see the Palestinian side, I see the U.S. side I see the China side and more.
And to put a 'cap' on any of the sides I see and can relate to, would be like sufficating myself.
Is why if get back into podcasting, I think it would be best for me to focus on others, rather than make show about 'self'.
And would probably have like a 'Book promotion' type of show, where I order a book, read it, then give it a review, that would be a big niche, cause many book authors out there need as much promo as they can get.
We'll see...I have the equipment for it, everything, just my spirit has been lagging these last few months.
We'll see.
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Post by Admin on Apr 25, 2021 18:42:11 GMT
If ever found out I was terminally ill If I ever found out I was terminally ill, I think this is what I'd want to do.. 1.  If found out terminally ill I'd want to get a used RV that could pay cash for.. 2. Then move to State where weed is legal 3. Then spend last remaining healthy days in RV, in wilderness, roaming around on foot, hiking, bike peddling, ect, while 'relaxed' and just live more in my last days than during all of 'industrial days' where fooled into thinking weekly pay check and busting but for 10 hours a day was some how 'the ultimate deal'...screw that. If ever find out I'm terminally ill, no Doctors needed, no experts needed, all I would need is a RV, and free to roam in weed legal State where could camp, sit out all night by campfire, cherish a few moments from the past, embrace a few current memories, dream, and then finally fall asleep forever.
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Post by Admin on May 4, 2021 5:29:38 GMT
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Post by Admin on Jul 7, 2021 15:35:00 GMT
Society not as culturally open as TV makes it out to be  I mean according to TV, or I should say 'shows' on TV, everyone gets along just fine, no one is racist, no one is sugarphobic, Muslims are the kindest people on the planet, Hitler so 'woke' that he even had black folks serving in the SS, and so forth, but in reality nothing could be further from the truth, people are still basically small minded 'bigots' who happen to live in a more advanced time. And when I say 'bigot', I don't just mean white bigots, that's a given, I'm talking there's black bigots, Asian bigots, Muslim bigots, Christian bigots, even people within the LGBTQ community are and can be bigots. Just because one is gay or lesbian, doesn't mean they still can't be racist, or hateful, or politically prejudice. And females are just as bigoted as anyone else. If people even think you're gay, they start acting all odd around you, but it's really their own inner demons they're fighting, not 'yours'. The mind of man is very small, and most still have the reasoning power of a caveman.
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Post by Admin on Jul 9, 2021 2:26:32 GMT
When I get home, clothes come off, I don't see how people where clothing while at home and alone.
But then again I live alone, so can do that, but man, so not use to wearing clothes when home alone, why would I?
I guess cause I live in a warmer area, and the feeling of fabric all up on your body is annoying to me.
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Post by Admin on Jul 10, 2021 3:08:05 GMT
I could never work on social media I could never work on social media, cause I'm to complex on the inside, there's to many sides of me on that inside, that have come out after years of being alone, and it would be hard for me to 'stuff' all those sides back on the inside and pretend to just be 'one person'. When folks see me, say at the store, say when I approach a cashier, the look in their face, more times than not, is fear and disdain, as if I'm walking up to choke them, be they male or female. Even if I befriend them, what they see of me in the physical, as in while at work or store, they think that's the total sum of who I am, just a one dimensional person, a tall person who should just grunt, and drool over women. So others decide, in their own mind, what you are, and if you deviate from that (even though you were never what their own mind thought you were), but if deviate from their 'idea of you', then comes the rumors, the stories, suggestive lies and more. So for me to get a regular social media page, and post actual regular pics of self, I'd have to live up to others expectations of that image, and I'd find that very sufficating. Maybe long ago, when social media first came out, and say I went down the normal social path, friends, meet someone, get married, start business, you know, just a regular normal life, sure, but my life has been anything but that. Again, I'm just way to complex on the inside, so the only way could start like a 'Instagram' site, would be if it were a 'spoof', or a made up 'character', or theater, cause theater allow me to 'flex', so to speak. It's why after all these years I've never posted a regular pic of self, And so glad I didn't, something just told me not to, is why any pic or video I post of self is usually 'altered', edited, in a way that reflects only about 80% or less of who I am. In other words, someone could see my portrait art online, or on here, then see me in real life, and in 100 years they'd never put the two together, cause like I wrote about, in real life, peoples biases take over, fear, whatever, and in a million years they'd never guess the person that scares them at the register, is same on in portrait art that came off so goofy, silly, and playful, and sometimes cute. This is how I know God exists inside of no one. Think about that. 
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Post by Admin on Jul 10, 2021 3:24:20 GMT
I mean those against 'Critical race theory', complain that it makes 'white youth' hate who they are, well what do you think society, or how society made 'black youth' or other non white youth feel about themselves from the inception of the U.S. until around the mid 1960's? Critical race theory is nothing new, I mean 'negro' or black youth, slave youth, Indian youth, after put onto reservations, or anyone else who wasn't 'WASP", for most of the history of the U.S. were made to feel ashamed of their physical traits, I mean heck there's even cartoons with bugs bunny making fun 'black folks'.  I mean come on, almost until forever, or maybe until around the mid 1960's, black folks were made fun of by 'white society' do to physical birth traits, all any 'white person' who's honest has to do is read their great grandparents, or grandparents notes, or even listen to the conversations had with them when younger, or own friends, why is this such a shocker? I grew up around white friends that openly told me that when 'black' people or schoolmates weren't around they openly used the 'n' word. So ye, the self esteems of millions of black gals and guys, have been, and were, damaged by 'critical race theory', where popular mainstream white culture told them they weren't only mentally inferior, but also physically 'odd'. These white's screaming today about not wanting their 'white kids' to feel bad about themselves, sure didn't seem to object when millions of black youth, for generations, were made to loathe themselves, by popular 'white' society.  You don't think images like this hurt, even damaged, the self esteem of millions of black youth, talking Looney Toons cartoons here, this was mainstream stuff for a couple of generations.
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Post by Admin on Oct 19, 2021 13:34:11 GMT
Side thought  I need to post this image to remind myself it's fall. I don't live in 4 season area anymore, where I stay it's basically summer, long summer, than a few months of very cold weather, that would be the SE, lower SE. I can feel it finally getting cool though, about time, but down here nature doesn't put on dazzling fall colors, the leaves, on some trees, just turn brown and drop to the ground. I have a whole day off in front of me and don't feel motivated to do anything other than sit and think, then sit and think some more, get up, eat something then come back and sit and think again. Not good, and I know why, and will do best to change that. I'm still getting stuff done, just passed a online certification class, you'd think I'd be thrilled, not so much, and I think it's cause been drinking to much when off work, so will cease that activity for a while to get some emotional balance back. Also, I notice when drink to much, over a sustained period of time, it degrades your bodies health, you start getting more aches and pains, this and that, cause obviously alcohol degrades your immune system, when drink to much over a period of time. When I stop drinking for weeks or months, I feel 19, when I drink routinely for a few months, I feel 60. I'd probably do 'weed' if lived in a State where it was legal, and or if didn't have a job that drug tests you randomly. I can't do any drugs at all cause job I have randomly drug tests, so all I can do is drink. Cause if I could do weed, I'd rather do that than drink. Oh well. Anyways, just felt I'd drop in and leave a few thoughts, boy how time just keeps flying right on by.
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