|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 30, 2018 13:07:46 GMT
Plural expressions of self Plural expressions of self, that's what this section is about. I'm sure people wonder why 'I' write so much, express so much, but to me while alive, what else is there to do, in that people will learn from my writings in the future (some are learning now) Humanity was meant to be plural, it's why a man seeks a woman, is cause basically in doing so seeks their other side, seeks that 'balance', but without a woman or man in your life, nature will seek that balance from within. The Westernization and commercialization of everything under the sun these days has really killed off, destroyed so much ancient wisdom and culture (of all peoples, not just Africans, but also Europeans, Asians, Islanders and more) It's really gross, when you think about it, how we've all been reduced to nothing more than a Wheaties cereal cover spot. A male shall be this way, a female shall be that way, so we can sell Cornflakes to millions. There was a time when males were allowed to feel and be beautiful, not because they were trying to be or wanted to be gay, but rather because it was, and still is, the natural spectrum of life. Also, everyone has different DNA, not all males of color resemble Mike Tyson, and not all white males resemble Hulk Hogan. Some males, many males, have softer tones to themselves than forced commercialized images would have you to believe. This forum blog, and other twin sites like it, or one of the few places where people who struggle with their internal beauty can come and just read, see, their own thoughts reflected, without having to say a word. So many males out there, would like the world to know this Just because a male wants to feel or be beautiful does not mean they're gay!Also, there is no thing as a 100% heterosexual male, sexuality is about tones, not absolutes, regardless of what written religious books say. Nature responds to tones, visuals. Being attracted to the beauty of another male does not mean one is gay, do you see how profound that is, if only more realized that. It's that 'snare' that if attracted to the looks or style of another male 'I must be gay', that leads many to believe they're gay WHEN THEY REALLY AREN'T. And here I thought humans were suppose to be so bright. If more people learned to think in tones, rather than absolutes, the insecurities which fuel hate would be greatly reduced. I should of been a college professor, lol or cry out loud, or pout out loud, whatever...
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Sept 8, 2020 10:27:36 GMT
Hey, Hello, Good-bye! I get so bored with my regular self that society expects me to be every day. It's like 'cursed to be dull and bland, cause society needs, wants you to be that way'...hell no! One of me, many different personalities inside, bursting to come out and live. And 1000 years from now, none of it will matter for we'll all be space dust again. And even if there's a heaven, I'd rather look soft, goofy and cute, than 'hardcore'. In fact, let those who are considered cute now, play the hardcore role in Heaven, and let those who had the burden of being cast as 'undesirables', let us, in heaven, reverse roles, so that those here on Earth now, will know what it's like to have others frown on you all the time and misinterpit your intent based on their own flawed thinking. But in the mean time, through art, I continue to stretch my being to the limits. Who says art class has to end when you graduate.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Sept 19, 2020 16:22:36 GMT
I need to see other sides of self, in order to help keep smile on my face Coming here and seeing this again, is the first thing of the day that even slightly put a inner smile in my face....why? Cause it reminds me that being happy isn't a sin....smiling isn't a sin. Loving self, all of self isn't a sin, it's only a sin to do the above if the one who defines 'sin' is a monster. And monsters make life hard for others whether in fleshly form or worshipped as a invented spirit. Monsters, regardless of their form, just set tones in society that make life hard and miserable for many. ___________________________________________________________ At least I can come here to this section, and be reminded that it's OK to smile and have fun with self. But I'm sure a 'monster' would put a whole different spin on it, their own ugly spin. Here though, only beautiful spins allowed.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Sept 19, 2020 16:45:04 GMT
I need to see other sides of self, in order to help keep smile on my face Coming here and seeing this again, is the first thing of the day that even slightly put a inner smile in my face....why? Cause it reminds me that being happy isn't a sin....smiling isn't a sin. Loving self, all of self isn't a sin, it's only a sin to do the above if the one who defines 'sin' is a monster. And monsters make life hard for others whether in fleshly form or worshipped as a invented spirit. Monsters, regardless of their form, just set tones in society that make life hard and miserable for many. ___________________________________________________________ At least I can come here to this section, and be reminded that it's OK to smile and have fun with self. But I'm sure a 'monster' would put a whole different spin on it, their own ugly spin. Here though, only beautiful spins allowed. According to 'mind' psychologist Dr Brutain, you become to self, what you lack in real life, in that nature always seeks a balance. So example, if you lack flair in your life, say you're just around boring dull people all the time, than in order to feed the side of self that needs flair, you become more flair like in how you present yourself to self, to fill that void. If you lack beautiful people in your life, whether beautiful females, or even beautiful males *beauty is not gender specific), but if you like beautiful people in your life, than to fill that void, you become beautiful to yourself. If you're only around drabby women who never smile, than what they lack comes out in you. If you're only around drabby, dull, boring males who seem to have accepted that looking ugly and dull is their standard, than a side of 'you' comes out that challenges that. Nature always seeks a balance, that's called health. Now according to Dr Brutain, and their assitant Dr Corey Edstein, if you had fun people in your life who all, together, reflected the full spectrum of personalities and style, than you'd yourself have no need to become or manifest any of it, cause they'd provide it for you, but since those in your life do lack colorful cheerful traits, nature forces you to become that color to yourself in order to provide emotional balance. But more studies are being done all the time to solidify this theory. |
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 14, 2020 17:51:34 GMT
Feetster If had to be one thing all the time, how boring and dull life would be for me, and other artist who love thinking in abstract forms. In tribal times, males allowed full spectrum of expression, but then the 'West' moved in and stripped all males of their colorful identities and reduced males to nothing more than dull, expressionless field hands. Well sorry to say but that 'color' is still inside of many males, but most never release it and or instead fulfill it through their significant other. There was a brief time during the 60's, and a bit during the Disco era, where males once again could express 'color' while in public, but then came the mid to late 80's, and grunge and rap, that once again stripped males of their color and reduced them to the raw basics, while women allowed to be as colorful as they want, regardless of orientation. In fact, in most cases 'art' and orientation have nothing to do with one another. But in the 'West' and some parts of the East controlled by Strict Islam, industrialized Islam or even industrialized China, a male is expected to simply exprerss self in terms of 'work clothing' attire and that's it. Only stage performers get a pass on that, like rock stars ect, they're allowed to be as colorful as they want within context of their 'stage act'. Regardless I"m glad I can still use body as a canvass, for all that awaits is old age and a withered body that then no one will want to look at, not even 'self'. But until then, I'll continue to explore different abstract concepts of digital art.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 15, 2020 1:26:54 GMT
Art? or hell?
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 16, 2020 1:46:48 GMT
Whenever I start feeling down, or just not very happy, creating different versions of self is like therapy...how and why?
Because it helps me not to take life so seriously, that's probably the main reason.
It's kind of like forcing yourself to 'stretch' your spirit and soul, and reminds me, or others, that we're more than what we usually see in the mirror, are who we are when at work ect.
Forcing myself to 'smile' and look 'pretty for the camera' is an exercise, and if I were a therapist I'd incorporate such an exercise into my theraputic program.
I'd have people be what they normally aren't, but in a silly way of course.
And then I sometimes ask, if it won't matter when I'm 80 (doubt I'll live that long) than why should it matter now?
At 80 or 70, no one will even look at a picture of me 'today' and even in 100 years think it were me, it just won't matter, most from today who 'scorn' will themselves be old or have died, it won't matter, so why should it matter now, I ask self at times.
Yes hurting another person matters, always, but being silly with self, not so much.
Upsetting another persons sensibilities, not so much, heck there was a time in this nation that a woman wearing a pants upset peoples sensibilities.
Think if a woman from the 1920's could see how women dress today with the super short shorts and all, think of the shock.
Or think if a slave owner from 1746 materialized today and saw that Obama was President for 8 years, again they'd be shocked.
So upsetting another persons sensibilities is not a sin, for sensibilities seem to change every 20 years or so, at least in a free society.
I go to other websites and see people doing things I'd never do, not in my right mind, or like adult sites, husbands filming their wives with BBC and stuff, and there's no shame, they don't even attempt to cover their faces.
That's way out of my range of behavior.
Or like torture porn, again out of my range of behavior.
All that aside, I'm feeling kind of flat right now and I know why, alcohol, when off from work been drinking to much beer lately and beer is a depressant of course.
Not sure if it's in me to do anything fun before I retire for the night, I doubt it.
I just feel 'blah' right now.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 26, 2020 4:09:21 GMT
What really sucks is not having another person to be or get creative with.
Here's the thing though about most people, regardless of gender, and that is people can't think outside of sexuality...everything is about 'sex' to most people, either for the good or the bad.
With me though, it's not about that, I'm celibate, have been for decades.
But people tend to judge you, or what they think your 'intent' is by what's in their own heart and or what they've experienced in the past.
All I need is one or two performers that look better than me, that I could then take to a whole new and wider level.
But when run adds for 'performer' or 'actor' you get the oddest calls, either undercover cops trying to see if you're a pimp or something (I wonder what they call female pimps?)
Or you get people that are just dirty minded, but you never just get 'normal' people who enjoy the art of theater.
Seems once people are out of school, everything has to be about 'sex', as if they've never heard of non sexual affection.
Like the kind of affection you get from your dog or cat, or when you rolled around and played with your pals when younger, as in wrestling all the time...why do adults stop doing that?
Instead everything has to be 'gross' or taken to extreme grossness, that's what so annoys me, either that or have to spend 1000's enrolled in some film school just to do what you could of done own your own had you had a team of creative artist.
It just seems no ones creative anymore, nasty yes, creative no.
Oh well.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 26, 2020 4:20:30 GMT
I mean you can't 'direct' a good short horror movie unless you have people to direct.
And craigslist?, forget about it, seems only the sludge of society dwells there now.
I need to find a place outside of C/L where creative minds gather for the purpose of cinema.
Being enrolled in a film school gives you that 'pool' of talent, and the resources, but again unless have 20-40 gran to spend on film school, good luck with that.
I guess I could always pay 'heroin addicts', hell they'll do anything for a buck, but hardly doubt they can 'act' or properly role play for a selected role.
Not only that but would need a independent studio for that cause when never ever invite a drug addicted person to my personal place, everything would be gone in a week.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 26, 2020 4:28:38 GMT
Like I said though, outside of paid professional actors, musicians, average people are just very 'flat' and totally lack creativity, or at least the kind I'm looking for, and as soon as out of school seem to become dead serious about everything, get caught up in relationships, start families ect, everyone just becomes dead serious and forgets how to just relax and play in a non, repeat, in a non sexual way.
I could say that 100 times and would just flow in one ear and out the other.
I wish I were just simple like everyone else, then I'd be happy just sitting at home watching TV for hours and then getting up to go to work...how freagin dull.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 26, 2020 4:43:02 GMT
I guess I just see myself getting older and not being able to capitolize on my creative talent, yet see all these cheezy 'B' movies being release on YT, but cheezy as they are, they had a team, someone to hold camera, actors, editors, a whole budget to hire talent and skill with... I get pissed off more and more, when people I encounter while at work, think my mind is so simple and that I simply live and breathe to be defined as a mindless worker with no other ambitions other than to labor for a hourly wage....for such to not even think there's more to me, is gross. So lately, I let them know I'm not some dumb mindless immigrant laborer who's just grateful to have a meal. Here's a sample of what I mean...  Now think what I could do with this storyline if had just 2 performers other than myself, think of the unique camera angles I could capture and more. But when shooting alone, you can only push the edge of creativity so far. I don't need film school, what I need is a film crew. |
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 26, 2020 5:22:34 GMT
My creative mood for the evening has waned, I just got frustrated...and so went and wrote elsewhere for a while.
Everything is so 'rigged' in this world, this idea that pure talent and ambition will get you noticed or ahead is such a myth...having the right connections will, just being talented will not.
No one cares about your talent unless you have something to leverage it with, money, casting couch, ect...is why so many beautiful people end up in the adult film industry, cause there's a million like them out there already and they went to Hollywood with no leverage.
There's already a million blondes, why does blonde 300,001 stand out more than blonde 299,000?
Leverage, for without leverage one blonde is just a clone of another.
It's like that in business, politics, entertainment, you name it, without leverage, forget about it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 26, 2020 6:21:46 GMT
Odd how just talking about needing a budget, and after saying that scratched off lottery tickets and just think I won $10,000.
This is probably a dream and will wake up soon.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 27, 2020 2:27:32 GMT
I did not win  I did not win, instead, as usual, I get snared by false hope, banged on by life, and than spat out, like above scene. So yes, I'm still a nobody, cause in this world, without money to bank roll your dreams and ambitions, yoi don't matter to anyone, accept the closet monsters of course.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Mar 22, 2022 23:59:09 GMT
I haven't been in a creative mood as of late, or it has taken on another form or expression I suppose.
Creativity/theater never dies, it just keeps evolving I suppose.
|
|
