Home Base

Time for bed, time for rest...everyone gets tired and needs rest, the good, sweet, and sour alike, biology takes over after a while, regardless.

Thankgiving 2019



Thanksgiving 2019, simply a marker for me, one T day closer to my demise, is why I don't mind sharing portraits of self, abstract portraits of self, abstract portraits of what's really going on inside of self with unique circumstance of life.

Matters not to me, as I age, whether people get that or not, whether they 'fake' not to get that or not, cause 'we all do'.

Is why Netflix, Hulu, Amazon streaming, HBO, Showtime and more earn billions every year...so ye, 'we', 'you', get it, we just pretend not to when it comes to those we don't like, or think we're suppose to hate.

It's sad that only when dead and gone, will my writing be celebrated, probably by some NPR type of student doing research, who'll accidentally stumble across my expressions and writings.

Like cave writing of old, I'll be celebrated, sure, yes, but only after dead and gone and no longer a living 'threat'.

So sad how that works.

The hugs will come when I'm dead

Yes, the hugs will come when I'm dead, and it no longer matters to me.

Why are we like that?, people, humans that is?

Speaking of 'dying', not that I plan on dying soon, hopefully not, but speaking of dying, I do need to fill out a will soon.

I mean now days, a 'Living Will' needs to include social media sites one was a member of, passwords and all, you know?

I'll probably 'Will' all my online forum blog stuff to like a University or something, where they'll study it, learn from it, create lesson plans from it, but again, after I'm dead and gone.

Yes, a University will get all my online forum blogs, I mean who else would I leave this stuff to?

I've learned this, the hard way, and that is common types on the streets, common blue collar types, just lack the capacity to think 'abstractly' about most issues.

where as college or University students challenged on, graded upon, the very ability to do the above.

I guess I'll be known as the dead professor who never got to teach while alive.

Poor body, poor cells within body, that have no idea of their own mortality, they're just hardwired to keep 'us' alive until can't.

And we make that job harder for them by eating junk food, by drinking beer, liquor and or doing drugs.

Life is viscous, cruel and mean.

Outside of self love, or love for self, not really sure if love exists.

Yes, it's been a while

I was in a totally different 'spot', mental spot, when first started posting on here, boy how things have changed, a lot of spark has left in some areas of life, but a few new ones began, sort of.

The main difference is I now put most of my artistic creative side in radio, podcasting, pre recorded broadcasts.

Not only that but have created several personal websites, which when I do write, or want to share stuff, that's usually where I do it now, in that since I own the domains, I can do things on my own sites, that can't do here.
I can sell stuff, blog, share pics, news, whatever, but the main difference about having own website is the more 'hits' or views you get, the more site goes up in worth.

I could get a million views here, and wouldn't benefit at all for the most part, since I don't own this platform, so instead the views I get benefit the owners, and not 'me'.

And for years I didn't care, still don't, but still it's just more fun to add content to site or sites you actually own, rather than one you don't.

And I don't promote or share this site at all, in the past you didn't have to, in that random views added up quickly, but now, now the way google has so manipulated search results, unless you go out of your way to promote anything, it barely gets out, and that's fine for me cause just don't have time, like I use to, to manage this blog forum like I use to.

All my creative energy now goes into my shows.

I'd probably be embarraced if went back and viewed some of the posts on here, but again, was in a totally different creative spot...things have mellowed...sort of.

I realize now a lot of my dreams and ambitions just will not come true, and if they finally do, will be to old to care anymore, or sick..that's usually how it works.

Like winning the lottery when weeks away from death, sure you won, but my gosh.

What if LGBTQ Zombies existed?



Jewish males in Hollywood love always depicting 'W' females as victims of monsters, gore and torture

Well what if Gay, or LGBTQ, hellish, zombies existed that went against the sensibilities of every paranoid, frail, weak on the inside male out there in the world....twisted justice...where the Fcn males would be the prey for a change in movies.

Finally went shopping

I finally went shopping today, wasn't a bad experience at all, now that 'mad rush' over, things are starting to be in supply again.

I went to a Harvey's supermarket, and it was calm inside, about 50% of people wore masks, and about 80% of employees did, that I cold see.

I wore gloves, but no masks, and ended up spending around $135.00 on stuff I need, mainly fruit, two store brand cases of water, frozen fish, and other stuff, it adds up.

And I did notice eggs were pretty pricey, 30-50% mark up.

Still no TP, just glanced down that isle, but other paper towel products.

Other than that, most everything was pretty much stocked, even the deli was open, bought some chicken, and hopefully that's not the in roads to the 'C' word, not only that but sometimes your own mind can play tricks with you and you'll convince yourself you have something and don't.

People forget, we all do, that there's still 1000's of ways to get sick, in that other viruses and gems and bacterium have not taken a vacation just cause Corona hogging all the lime light now.

Anyways, that's my shopping for at least 2 weeks...and with diminished appetite, should last me a good while.

Now can get on with other things of the day.

A part of me wants to 'delete' this forum.

It's a path I started a while ago, but not sure if this path still serves me now in the current.

I never like deleting any part of my past, cause I think we can learn a lot about our past, later on in the future, snap shots of ourselves help us grasp meaning later on in life.

Helps us to realize 'Yes, I was alive way back then, and expressive', as you lay dying in nursing home one day.

As far as this particular forum though, it's just I got so many other things going on right now, other expressive outlets that are a bit more connected to 'life',or others feedback.

Here, I'm basically dumping thoughts into a abyss.

I could always shut it down, and then re-open on a different more interactive platform.

Sooner or later everyone wants a bit of feedback, to not want a bit of feedback means you're dead.

If I shut this place down it wouldn't be missed by anyone, and I've pretty much said, continue to say, what's expressed on here other places.

There's so many more modern ways to get exposure online now, and this forum here is like a dinosaur, and I realize that, and maybe that's why I utilized it, cause I knew on here could experiment with thoughts and ideas out of view of others.

Blogging or writing just helps you sort out your thoughts.

I'll decide soon what to do with this site, it just feels like a graveyard to me now.