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Emails
May 9, 2023 22:43:20 GMT
Post by Admin on May 9, 2023 22:43:20 GMT
Emails To me, all thoughts need to live.
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Emails
May 9, 2023 22:45:05 GMT
Post by Admin on May 9, 2023 22:45:05 GMT
Would I trade it all? My past that is, my present, and well, who knows the future, can't trade the future since don't know the future.
Maybe I've lived this long simply cause have been single for so long, maybe that's the secret to longevity, is being single, and not having to deal with stress. But then again, not all male/female relationships are stressful, it's a gamble I suppose.
But I do know, it's rare to see male/female couples over the age of 50 now days. Or maybe I'm just in the wrong community or communities, I guess it just depends on where one lives.
I know this, my life is empty right now, and I seem to keep fooling myself that somehow things will just work out, but will they? Do I need another in my life to add some spice to it again, to give me something to fight for again? I don't know, I'm not 'God', so I don't know.
I just know this woman is in my mind more than I thought they'd be...and even told me I was 'sexy'...and 'just wait'. What do I want? I keep asking myself. How can I find joy, meaning and purpose going forward?
Being single, for a long time, does tend to make you selfish, it really does. I've always, in the past, always wanted to be the perfect normal man, the perfect Dad, parent, Father, neighbor, ect....but real life is not TV. And trying to be perfect around imperfect people kind of cancels your perfection out anyways.
If my only purpose in life becomes to simply pay the bills, how would that make me feel? Trapped? I don't know. The older a man gets, the more he starts thinking like a woman, very calculating and all. It's why younger males just go for it, cause they're driven by lust and not logic. Well, my lust is in check, so really all I have is logic now, to guide me.
We shall see.
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Emails
May 11, 2023 17:48:13 GMT
Post by Admin on May 11, 2023 17:48:13 GMT
Life is about decisions, and I almost decided to let this show go today when I got invoice, yep, I'm still paying to be on the air. Hey sent invoice to the wrong address, is why I never saw it...d'oh!
Been in bed most of the day just slumping around because I've been so indecisive about things lately...but in the end, not making decisions becomes more stressful than just making a decision, be it good or bad.
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Radio show I feel if I let that show go, than really what else is there? Maybe another market, but no market is free.Just online stuff? Now days, we all know how that game is played. So really, being on air 'live' once a week is the largest voice I'm ever going to have right now, until establish larger online presence other places, and maybe that's what I need to start doing, to include a campaign on Patreon, where subscribers can help fund the show.
I think I'll fight for this, just a bit longer, and become more aggressive in my online presence, or else what's the alternative, to just vanish from the social square and become irrelevant?I mean I'll always be relevant, but not in a showbiz type of way. I could just, like said earlier, fall back into a boyfriend/girlfriend type of life and just focus on what my lover wants, and be the man they need me to be rather than the person I want to be...I don't know.
But I do know I've seen this movie before, the big dream movie, where everyone tries to do things alone, as individuals, and as such nothing gets done and everything dissolves, and people just get older and more tired and further retreat into their own miniature worlds.
It's why I always end every show by saying 'Love those around you because those around you are all you've been given to love'. And I mean that, and it applies to social circles as well in that we all have ideal friends we want, ideal partners, ideal this and that, but that's fantasy, reality is, and those who get ahead, learn to work with those given to them by fate, they're the ones who get ahead. We need to learn to work with those fate has given to us, and that's when things blossom.
Anyways, show lives, for now, and so do I.
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Emails
May 21, 2023 13:51:30 GMT
Post by Admin on May 21, 2023 13:51:30 GMT
The world is going mad, and there's nothing I, or anyone else can do about it. No amount of praying can stop what's occurring, if prayer mattered, it would have never gotten to this point to begin with.
I wake up, at times, feeling so helpless, in that can't do nothing to stop the lunacy, all most of us can do is relieve our own inside stress by at least talking or writing about it. Lunatics are running the world now, in the past lunatics ran the streets, but somehow it's been flipped around, and now the street lunatics are in elected office, wow.
Oh well, nothing I can do about it. The elites are in control, and love stirring the pot. The elite left, has hi-jacked the minds of many Afro-American voters, have them forever fearful of this boogie man known as 'racism'..(good grief!)Black folks in America are the only people on earth so obsessed with Anglo racism...and that irrational fear is the elite's biggest weapon.
I wish I could just move to another planet. Oh well..
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