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Post by Admin on Jun 27, 2023 8:51:52 GMT
Current reality Current reality, begin.
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Post by Admin on Jun 27, 2023 8:52:51 GMT
Current reality?
I'm up, can't sleep, it's still dark out.
My life is devoid of love, I can't find anyone to love nor can I find anyone to love me.
What more do ya need to know?
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Post by Admin on Jul 27, 2023 0:23:11 GMT
I really need some hope in my life right about now, but I think I'm the only one who can give it to myself.
I need a plan of action, one that still makes the future seem like a fun place to go.
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Post by Admin on Jul 27, 2023 0:37:24 GMT
My problem is, is that I'm not prepared for the future. I never gave my future much of a thought, until now.  |
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Post by Admin on Jul 27, 2023 1:26:47 GMT
Dead End - 2003??
Watching this older scary, or supposedly scary, older movie called 'Dead End'...it does feel a bit dated.
Not sure what to make of it yet, it's kind of like slap stick horror, I guess.
But hey, I'd rather be on that road in the movie than the road I seem to be on in real life.
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Post by Admin on Jul 29, 2023 2:21:16 GMT
I'm off for 5 days and am thrilled!
I had to go to work feeling not so healthy today, and that sucks, especially when a labor type of job, it's like hell actually.
It's why those who always want to raise the retirement age don't labor for a living, they're usually talk radio hosts, or politicians, who earn their money by swindling others, or through ads, ect.
But try digging a ditch at the age of 63, rhetorically speaking...not many could.
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Post by Admin on Jul 29, 2023 4:45:33 GMT
When you're in pain, physical pain or discomfort, if, when, pain goes away, you feel brand-new and don't sweat the small stuff.
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Post by Admin on Jul 29, 2023 4:47:39 GMT
We just never realize how fine-tuned our bodies are, that is until something stops working, or you experience pain, for whatever reason, or a injury.
We just don't think about the mechanics of our own bodies when everything is working correctly.
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Post by Admin on Aug 13, 2023 23:24:21 GMT
I have been effectively 'dead' all day, dead to myself, dead to the world around me....just one of those days.
I drank last night, and well, today, I don't know, it just hit me in a odd heavy, mood altering, outlook altering way.
Maybe cause I was already in a down mood.
All I know is today, I feel dead to everything.
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Post by Admin on Aug 13, 2023 23:25:43 GMT
I think I'll create a 'to do list', and well, try to get one or two or a few things done today, regardless of my 'deadening' mood.
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Post by Admin on Sept 18, 2023 20:39:26 GMT
I've created my own hellish reality, or so it seems  Not sure what to do about it, I haven't the mental enthusiasm to leave my own hellish realm.
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Post by Admin on Sept 20, 2023 1:57:54 GMT
Current reality is I'm a nobody, how's that?  My current reality is that I'm a poor, underachieving nobody, how's that for starters? But, for whatever reason I'm still here. It's Tuesday, and I'm off tomorrow, thank the heavens. Anyways, back to watching streaming shows on Amazon.. I like jump from the twilight zone to other movies. Just finished watching 'Tusk', it's a odd type of horror movie where a older man turns a younger man into a walrus...odd.
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Post by Admin on Sept 27, 2023 22:20:28 GMT
Waking up today felt like waking up in hell.
But I think hell occurs when you focus on the wrong things, things you cannot fix or have control over.
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Post by Admin on Dec 10, 2023 19:14:46 GMT
I have no more solutions to what ails me.
When existing just to exist, the spark to 'fight', to create a better tomorrow, is just not there.
I have no one, nothing, to champion for anymore, as such I just feel stuck.
Sure, a change will come, but it will feel very robotic, but maybe once on the other side of that 'change', things will improve. (at least I gotta give myself that little hope)
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Post by Admin on Dec 21, 2023 3:31:57 GMT
In my current realm, or reality, not sure what's suppose to make me happy anymore.
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