In a crabby mood right now In a crabby mood right now, so I write about it as a way of like opening the door when there's smoke inside to allow the smoke to dissipate.
The smoke in this case is my mood, the door is me writing about it.
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Was doing fine, mood wise, until on the way home last night after work, and seems I kept catching red lights, even at 3 am in the morning, the final straw was catching last left turn arrow light, then when light finally turned green, a car coming up from behind me just drove right through after me, and followed me even into the place I lived...(just coincidence), but for some reason that so annoyed me, so much very much annoyed the F out of me cause for one, that late or early in the morning I just want to be alone, I don't like or want any traffic behind me, and for two, that always seems to happen.
I'm not the one you want to tailgate, cause I'm the type that will just pull to the side and stop and or drive in circles until I'm behind you.
I get paranoid when tailgated, especially at night....I get so paranoid and agitated by tailgaters, that I'm the type that say I was on drugs (no, I don't, can't do drugs do to my job, but if I were), I'm the type that would probably just start blasting.
Thankfully that never happens, but I just get paranoid when people tailgate me, especially at night, something about headlights on your azz, on your tail, that just super annoys me, agitates me..
And at that point I just lose it....
I literally lose it emotionally, and it doesn't matter who you are, could be, if tail gate me I lose it.
Cause at that point I feel like I'm about to die anyways, so my response, according to my brain, is to neutralize the threat, at all costs...so don't tail gate me at night, especially like after 1 am on a lonely road or street...just don't.
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I'm also agitated cause I go out of my way to look good, sharp, stay fit, yet those around me do not.
I didn't even want to go into the market today, cause it was 'stuffed' with fat out of shape middle aged and older people who wobble instead of walk normal, if in shape.
Fat 'B' women who have lost all feminine features, and who look more manly and post sexual than some younger cute college aged thin 'W' guy....that' s disturbing to me.
Just being some middle aged or older female doesn't make you special in my book, I just see you as something taking up space and resorces who eats a lot of food.
(my grouchy mood on display here).
Soldiers over seas dying so you can stuff your face and get fat.
Same with old crusty anything, W or B, doesn't matter, just get out of my way.
Not that I'm super young, but at least I don't torture people by stepping out of my home unkept...I always try to look like a model...cause looks do matter.
But not to stupid people it doesn't, whom I seem to be surrounded by, like a curse or something.
Am I the only one who doesn't age!!!
But even I will age eventually, and it sucks that I've wasted so many years around bums!!
Yes, I'm in a crabby mood and must write about it in order to get it out of my system so can 'reset' thy soul.
Then there's those I try to help, do help, send money to, and they can't even keep me in the 'loop'...snobs...yet they wonder why suddenly 'doors' open for them.
Yes I'm frustrated, cause while I work I can't wait to get off work, then when off work, I realize there's nothing meaningful in my life for me to do or engage in...no one to help.
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Dating apps?
What a joke, I've read all the reviews, guys have to pay, women free..and as one 'guy' said, if the women don't have to pay to be a member than any ole female can join or scammer can join and claim to be a female..ect ect.
Guys, don't join any dating site if it's free for females, cause all you'll get on the female side is scammers.
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I feel 'broke' right now, not fiscally broke, just socially broke, lost.
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I need a girlfriend, lover or date right now, but have no idea how to find one, unless just go downtown and literally hand out 10 dollar bills just for the attention of it...
Yes, I could go make the news headlines by calling news station, and then handing out $300.00 in 10 dollar bills...
Maybe that's what I want and need right now is attention, but in a positive way...maybe I just need to demonstrate my generosity (can't believe I spelled that correctly)...and just go give stuff away to the homeless.
