The Dizzy Sissy

Goofy and silly, and I like to have fun, harmless fun when alone



I'm mainly goofy and silly, and like to have fun when alone and all by myself, cause I've learned if try to have fun with others, someone always takes it the wrong way.

I sometimes like pretending I'm a actor/actress and taking multiple takes, until scene is shot right.

If I could do it all over again I'd definitely get into film school, creating art and cinema would of been my dream.

But film schools cost an incredible amount of money, but sadly they're about the only way you can break through, and meet difference makers, other wise all there is is YT, and no ones breaking through on there anymore since google took it over and only allows certain people to get views.

Either that or you have to raise a lot of money on your own, like $100,000 or more from start to finish, then enter it in a film festival and hope it gets noticed, then from there sponsored with larger budget.

Dreams, dreams that I think have past me by, so I instead create my own wonderland of joy and wonder and 'what if's'.

I am a fictional character, like what you see on TV.
If that makes you upset than be upset at every single show you see on TV or Netflix or Showtime, be upset at SNL, or the Carol Bernet show when it was on, or be upset at the Lucile Ball show 'Lucy', or be upset at Gilligan's Island, but please don't be upset at me for simply wanting to live while alive.
Hopefully more to follow unless my master pulls the plug.

Why I don't consider myself a cross dresser

I don't consider myself a cross dresser for the following reasons

1. I'm perfectly happy with my own gender

2. I don't always find females and or their behavior attractive, so why would I want to be one or mimic that which I don't always find attractive, rather I prefer to explore the full spectrum of 'male', and it's marvels.
Just like women/females are allowed to have 'range' in style and dress, why aren't men or males?

And believe it or not, I actually get annoyed when I see males deliberately copying the exaggerated style and dress of women, especially when they apply make up and all, to me that often looks very clownish.

To be honest, I'd never want to be a female unless I had a very specific body type and or only if androgynous, meaning you couldn't tell what gender I was from up close or distant....but not sure how androgynous types age, like over the age of 30.

Nor do I consider myself to be 'gay', in that I don't actively seek out members of my same gender with the specific purpose of romance, as far as that goes I don't seek out members of opposite sex anymore either, I spent so many years trying to find just the right female, and never could, or if did, they weren't interested, you know how that goes.
So now I no longer care, and as such the importance of females in my life has been greatly diminished, cause most of them my age, who rejected me in the past, just don't look all that appealing to me anymore, so I basically ignore them now, as they did me in the past.

Their window to impress me is about all but about over, so what's left?...me, myself and I, I guess.

And if ever win the lottery, will live in large Estate Alone, no females, cause they all ignored me when I was younger, so why would I reward any of them now?

Since no woman ever wanted to start a family with me, their value to me is about zero now, maybe less than zero.
If I had my own family, my whole outlook would be different, of course, but fate has led me elsewhere.

But no, I'm no crossdresser, to me if you have to overly dress up, that means you're not naturally beautiful or graceful.

Sometimes I wish I could beat myself up, but in a loving way



Sometimes I wish I could beat myself up, but in a loving way, the way a older brother would when younger, then having dinner together 5 minutes later.

I know, regardless of what scientific puff cakes say, that gently rough housing is good for thy soul...not abuse, but rather playful rough housing, it's what we all did when younger, almost constantly, ye even you reading this.

But then we grow up, get older, and the only kind of contact we have with others is _____ in nature, and to me that's not good.

Take myself, I'd love it if two guys playfully wrestled me to the ground, like in middle school, and then started tickling me, that's what I call non sexual affection, and I think more people need that in order to be healthy, but in today's society that's frowned upon, and then the dunce 'experts' wonder why violence is out of control today, reason?, cause there's no playful middle ground.

And video games are NOT a middle ground...nothing beats a good old fashion game of tackle football, or smear the 'Q' word, that I grew up playing and enjoying, but notice those who did not, tend to be more violent and act it out.

Most everyone alive is seeking some form of affection or 'touch' (non sexual touch) as a way of affirming their 'OK'.

If to uneducated or better yet, if to dishonest to get that, to bad.

I just wish there were two or 3 of me so could wrestle and even playfully flirt with self and that way none of me would get offended cause understand it in it's proper context.

I don't think I'm being a sissy here



I don't think I'm being a sissy here, I think that's kind of a generic term, I think 'sissy' means submissive by nature, and that's not really me.

To be submissive, you really have to trust the one you're being submissive to, and trust that they won't exploit or hurt you, physically or emotionally, and from my experience there are very few people you can give that kind of trust to, whether male or female, gay or straight, most people are just down right heavy handed and cruel by nature.

I think I'm just being creative with self, as a way of stretching thy soul.

In every day life I scare people (How do you think that makes me feel?)

So when alone, I get to bring out the real me, not that the 'real me' has or needs a look, cause the real me is always based on mannerisms, everything else is theatrical play.

I'm always the real me, when in public, but because people are so bias, and act out on that bias in various negative ways, their eyes, their bigotry blinds them to the real me initially, and it's only those I'm around for a while who finally understand I'm no monster, if anything a gentle angel.

And before you judge me, which comes so naturally to most, One of the board members of 'Zoom', was recently caught m-8ing while on a conference call, here's the article...www.dailywire.com/news/cnn-analyst-jeffrey-toobin-suspended-by-new-yorker-after-he-exposed-himself-in-zoom-call

OK, this mans head of major public corporation, and during a Zoom teleconference meeting with other board members, they decide to have a M-8 moment in plain view of camera, are you kidding me!

Not even street types would do some crap like that, have more humility and self respect for self and others than Jeffery Toobin did...and he's married!

And he's not the only one, there's 100's of 1000's of suit and tie by day, freaks by night types out there who actually are duranged for real, where as me, I'm just theatrical, and my weirdness doesn't go past my digital art....but there's does.

And it's those types who love deflecting the ills of society on people like myself, when actually we're the ones who keep things together, cause our antics are just theatrical 'play', and no more.

___________________________________________________

That aside it's also therapy, for at least speaking for myself, since alone, and single, I need balance, to always look 'hard' and 'rough and tough' all the time, when single and alone, that vibe gets old.
So sometimes I like to make self look 'softer', as a way of filling the role a woman would if in my life.
So few will get that, so very few will get that, and instead pick up a bible and preach.

Keep your preaching to yourself, and aim it at your Pastor, who behind the scenes is doing who knows what.

Anyways, didn't mean to go off on such a long tangent.

I just know I'm no sissy, a sissy would not be strong enough to do what I do, and bear what I have to bear...or is it 'bare'?

Back soon, hopefully.

Ye, but I'm not even cross dressing, I don't wear female clothing, not my thing.
I like being male actually, all I do in my art is stretch the bounderies of maleness, that's all.

Crowned loser surrounded by zero



When I'm alone, I often do feel oh so defeated, so 'flesh', so small.

I think the 'Devil' and or dark forces specialize in breaking people down.

So if you think you're tough, the devil and dark forces will go about breaking you down at every level conceived until they watch you crumble and become that which you never thought you would, that is their delight.

Or if you think you're weak, they, the dark forces will artificially build you up, build up your confidence, now you're strong right?...wrong, they destroy your ego, your body, your pride, all with one incident.

Devils, dark forces and demons love tearing away at whatever it is that makes you squirm if revealed about self, to them, devils and dark forces, it's all a 'sport'.

Nothing more, nothing less, just a sport to them.