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Post by Admin on Oct 5, 2020 20:38:07 GMT
Depression and the many layers of  Depression and the many layers of, and believe me you there's a lot of layers and different faces to depression. There's performance based depression, there's chemical addiction based depression, there's mental health based depression, social isolation depression, fiscal depression and more. Each effects you, us, them, others, differently, and the ability to bounce back depends on personal circumstances. And with that being said, let's begin this long, curvy adventure into the different layers of depression.
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Post by Admin on Nov 21, 2020 9:31:17 GMT
At times I feel like the Universe is done with the need for my existence.
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Post by Admin on Nov 21, 2020 9:38:56 GMT
It amazes me how like a deep sea lobster can live 100 years underwater, in near or total darkness, alone, in seclusion, and never once question it's own existence, or ever feel lonely. Sometimes I wish I could adopt that mindset  |
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Post by Admin on Dec 14, 2020 7:37:04 GMT
I need to watch a free horror movie on YT, to get mind off of my own life.
But sometimes watching a bad horror movie can make you feel even worse, as if wasting time.
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Post by Admin on Dec 14, 2020 7:39:48 GMT
Also, I wonder if the era of big movie stars is over?
I mean with so many studios pumping out movies now, class 'B' type movies, it's like they just hire any ole person or people to cast into roles now.
I can't remember the last time I've seen a horror movie with like a 'repeat' actor in it.
Yes, I think the era of big movie stars is over and have been for about a decade now.
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Post by Admin on Nov 6, 2021 16:55:35 GMT
All you can do is try to fix what's wrong, that's really all you can do.
Don't expect anyone to congradulate you for doing the right thing, for to most, we're simply a walking deficit to them.
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Post by Admin on Dec 1, 2021 16:11:20 GMT
I wouldn't say I'm clinically depressed, but when I look at my life, at times I wonder why not?
I have a lot of resiliance I guess.
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Post by Admin on Jan 23, 2022 22:41:07 GMT
Hate the way I feel right now. It's like a dark spirit of depression has just settled upon me.
All I can do is fight through it, what else can I do?
Sometimes I do wish I were just homeless, but even that type of life not as easy as it may seem cause still have to deal with hygiene, bugs, insects, the weather, safety concerns, food, health, money.
I was homeless for a while long ago but I did have a van I lived in, that helped out a lot, just can't imagine actually laying body down in the dirt or cement or bench, as a bed, now that's really leaving yourself exposed, but more and more people are finding themselves doing just that do to the higher cost of everything.
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Post by Admin on Sept 8, 2022 11:18:48 GMT
When you're lonely, you end up making a fool of yourself sometimes.
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Post by Admin on Sept 12, 2022 12:43:25 GMT
I always tell others, and myself, I'd rather live alone, and die under a bridge alone, than to hurt or exploit anyone in this world.
I could never live with myself if I went around knowingly hurting others.
I can't help who I may offend with my words, or expressions of self, but I can help who I purposely try to hurt or exploit, which is why I don't.
If anything, I'm the one who gets hurt and exploited by other people's evil.
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Post by Admin on Sept 29, 2022 18:58:06 GMT
I'm socially, culturally and probably spiritually dead right now, there's nothing inside of me, is the result of being isolated so long from others.
Yes, I'm still nice, but there's nothing there at the moment.
I don't even care about the hurricane or it's effects.
The raising of millions, whatever, I don't care.
No one cares about me ever, yet I'm suppose to suddenly care about those who never care about me?
Nah.
I don't wish them bad or anything, just tired of always being made to feel that others, any other, matters more than I do.
Bottom line is I don't matter, and when made to feel you don't matter to anyone or society for years, decades, not sure why I'm suppose
to feel anything towards those who ignore me.
I don't.
They'll all be OK, it's me who won't be OK.
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Post by Admin on Sept 29, 2022 18:59:26 GMT
I've deleted my phone of all number, all texts, only work number is left, all other phone numbers purged.
I'll never get a call back from any of them for the rest of my life, so that just tells you the dead weight I was dealing with.
F them all.
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Post by Admin on Sept 29, 2022 19:00:31 GMT
Now I'm going to get up, in the rain, and do what's right for me in the moment, and that is to go to the store and buy stuff to make me feel better, in the moment, cause no one else will.
I'm dead to the world.
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Post by Admin on Dec 30, 2022 12:22:50 GMT
You'll know when you've done the right thing cause you'll just feel better.
And at least when older, 'right' (to self) often means taking the path of least stress.
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Post by Admin on Apr 3, 2023 19:44:14 GMT
What do you do when an overwhelming sense of sadness sweeps into your life?  I think sadness can be related to a lot of things 1. Pro-longed lack of mental, physical, social support, to include lack of encouragement. 2. Social isolation. 3. To much drinking or drugs 4. Not being in a loving relationship with another. 5. Lack of progress in life, repetition, doing the same thing over and over again and not getting anywhere. 6. In a environment that your not aligned with. 7. A medical condition 8. A sense of loss, which can be a person, or a position, or place of residence, ect And you could add more to that list. I think sadness sets in when we fail to tell ourselves 'things will be OK'. Most of us are pretty resilient to allowing our own morals to fall, it's just a mental survival things I suppose, but still, every now and then sadness still seems to set in. And you have to be careful with sadness, which to me is a bit different than depression. I think you can be depressed about something, with feeling an internal sense of sadness. I don't know, I do no sadness isn't good, for whatever reason, it's just not good, not a good way to feel.
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