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Post by Admin on Sept 12, 2017 16:03:04 GMT
What is tradition to those who are single?
What is tradition to those who are single, those who for whatever reason just cannot find a opposite sex mate?
What is tradition?
Why are so many adults, who are lonely, forced to remain alone do to constraints of 'society' or culture or tradition?
Tradition, in perfect world, long ago world, assured survival of culture, today, do to mechanized conveniences, not so sure.
Women do fine, without males now, in that have 'Gov' muscles to protect them as in Police, military, 'the law', but in the past "Man', was the law, a woman's husband was 'the law' and protector, today not so much.
Machinery and modern inventions have kind of neutralized the role of males, now males are sought out more for personal reasons of 'romance', not wanting to be or feel lonely, rather than old world practical reasons.
More women than men now, so what are all these single males, who'll never get married, never attract a mate, suppose to do?
That's the ugly topic no one wants to speak about (and same applies to all the single women who'll never marry, or marry again, who are single yet still lonely)
But for the sake of others, or to escape social ridicule, most who are alone, and lonely, do what society expects, as to avoid persecution.
Pretending to be normal and a traditionalist so that others can remain sane, selfishly acting, behaving 'standard', so that others can feel comfortable.
But yet these so called 'others' never ever think to help those who are alone, by 'hooking them up' on a date, nothing.
Sad how we understand how even animals get lonely, need companionship, yet this slips past us when it comes to our fellow man or woman.
People are dense cruel and purposely stupid in order to satisfy own selfish natures.
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Post by Admin on Sept 16, 2017 23:47:14 GMT
When single and alone, everything is differentWhether male or female, when single and alone, everything is different. When single and alone, and the prospects of meeting anyone of opposite sex is near 'zero', than while alone, and in that single zone, things are different. For man was not meant to be alone, not even animals are, so when alone, as a higher intelligent being, how does that effect ones mentality, sanity, and rationality. I've often said that Loneliness is the window to many ugly things, a window climbed through, that one would not climb through if not lonely.  Unless people who are 'paired' help pair those who are lonely, than they should keep mouths shut when those who are lonely, do what they must to not feel lonely anymore. Being lonely is like being hungry, it's an appetite, in that until not lonely anymore, your inner being crazes, wants, desires, to be loved, needed and valued by another. And when rational people (so called) won't give this Love, value, to you, than 'the lonely' turn to other sources to satisfy that basic craving within us all. FactNot every male or female is going to pair with opposite sex in this world, so what should they do to satisfy loneliness, get a pet? Pet's are great, but aren't human. People, humans, like pets, want to be held, hold, and loved, that's so basic, yet so many go without that for years, even decades. And then are shocked if someone of 'same sex' gives that that which they have longed for for so long. It's so basic. Love, being embraced, cures a lot, yet for some, so hard to find. And I'm not speaking of gay vs straight, rather I'm speaking of those who aren't gay or lesbian or 'Q' or 'CD', yet find themselves being tugged between both worlds, in the middle somewhere. Those who are gay or lesbian know they're gay or lesbian, but then you have those who or 'situational', moment or need based. Or some would say 'confused'. But there's nothing confusing about being or feeling lonely, loneliness is a reality for many, and as such many climb through that window to not feel so lonely, even if when in 'rational state of mind', would not do so. The effects of being lonely can sometimes make a rational person, irrational, say after a drink or two, as to not feel lonely and unloved, even if for a pretend moment. Life is mentally, and morally, straining for those lost in the middle somewhere... 
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Post by Admin on Sept 17, 2017 0:00:35 GMT
Which is more powerful, Love or Flesh?
As a single male/female, I'm not sure anymore, in that flesh, lust, = now, = attention, = priority.
Sure, I'd rather be loved, but love is slow, takes time, and often not around another long enough for 'Love' to develop.
But then again 'sex appeal' is a gimmick, and chemically based, and is why so many couples divorce later on in life.
'Lust' or sex appeal, blinds us to the flaws of the person we're physically attracted to.
Is why when 'younger' if a male, will have 'sex' with just about anything that moves or walks, but as age, and 'lust' wears off, become more picky and less tolerant of 'flaws'.
Love vs Flesh...hmm
Women know the power of this well.
Women know that the window of 'lust' is small, lust lures, but Love is what anchors, that applies to all, regardless of gender.
Sometimes though, wonder if 'Love' is a hoax, natures hoax, or is it real.
I think Love is 'steel', and lust is plastic.
But plastic is cheaper and easier to find.
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Post by Admin on Nov 30, 2019 21:16:38 GMT
I think the only type of woman I could ever get with is one who was bi-sexual or Lesbian
I think the only type of woman I could get with is one who was either bi-sexual or Lesbian.
Why?
Cause as a male, who indeed does prefer females, always wanted to start a family, but never happened, for whatever reasons, I think the only type of woman who could handle my artistic side would be a bi-sexual woman or Lesbian woman, who wouldn't freak out if they views digital art of myself, rather I'd hope they'd have the 'width' of character and personal experience to understand art and expression and the need to do both, especially if single for so many years.
I think having a Lesbian wife or Bi-sexual wife would be fun, in that they'd 'get it'...and realize not every comment or suggestion you make means you want to 'act on it'.
Only a bi or Lesbian girl friend or wife would understand that as a male, I can think another male is 'cute', without meaning I'm gay, but rather simply making a observation based on physical traits.
Where as a regular Hetero woman, if I mentioned to her that 'Hey, that guy's kind of cute', a regular insecure, mean spirited normal woman, her first response would be 'Err, are you gay???'...duh
Bottom line, I just need a woman I can be honest around, relax and have fun with without the stigma of 'Are you gay', crap.
And seems really only Lesbian or Bi-women have that capacity.
I mean if fate isn't going to deliver me a traditional family, than while alive, it's my duty to self to still have fun and bring out the 'child' within myself, or at least prevent the creative side within self from dying.
When one is a parent, sure, you let that side of self go and it's born again through your child or baby, but if single, you have no 'family' to project your other sides unto.
Date a cross dresser or tranny?
If found one cute enough, maybe, I mean if having kids not in the equation, than what's it really matter who one pairs with as long as compatible?
Also, another thing that most dorks don't realize and that is just because someone is 'bi-sexual', as far as appreciating qualities in both genders that agree with personal taste, doesn't mean one 'acts on that attraction'.
In other words if I see another male who is 'cute', and fem, doesn't mean I want to hump them, it simply means to me, their cute and fem.
Why do I bother waste my time explaining this stuff.
In the end, I've learned people only respond to whats inside of 'themselves', and project that outward.
So if someone is gross, than they think everyone else is gross also.
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Post by Admin on Apr 16, 2020 0:44:44 GMT
The only way you can help others is by being honest with self
The only way you can help others is by being honest with 'self', as such I'm going to take a stab at this.
Dating, as I get older, I'm beginning to reevaluate a lot of things I maybe never thought I would when younger, and one of those things is 'the perfect mate' (of course no such thing exists except in ones own mind)
But still that doesn't stop us, humans, from trying.
And as I age I also notice I'm beginning to question who it is I'm suppose to be attracted to (as if society can determine that)
If you're a male, you should be attracted to a biological female, and vice versa, OK fine, society is way beyond that, but is it?
And let me lay out some more food for thought before continuing to kind of set the tone.
1. I, as a male, don't, do not, find all qualities in biological females to be, well 'Fem'
Just because a female does it, to me, doesn't make it 'woman like or fem', but rather a matter of 'style or taste', that has zero to do with being a female.
2. As a male, I observe certain males have more of the kind of inner traits I wish women had, particularly when younger (the male that is) before society has had a chance to 'harden'.
Number 2 greatly depends on which community and or social circle particular male arises from.
And this can apply to the physical as well as over all mannerism.
Also, as I get older I realize the following
3. Outside of creating a family through birth, (meaning male gets female pregnant and the start biological family of their own), outside of that role, as I get older, outside of that parental role, I often ask myself, 'what do I really have in common with the majority of women?'
Most women to me
1. dress funny
2. Have bodies that don't interest me (particularly women with no shape, that 'haven't been to the gym in over a decade' type look, or even that 'I'm starting to morph into a man' look, that usually older out of shape women have.
I mean many older women, to me, begin to look like 'men in drag' after a while.
3. Have personalities that are very self serving and self centered.
4. Have bony hands with uneven or long finger nails, which reminds me of vampires or a witch, or worse yet fat fingers and hands with grotesque nails, that remind me of goblin hands.
And let me stop there, none of the above I attribute to being 'female' or 'fem', but rather style and taste or culture.
But if majority of women are buried in a style, taste and culture that turns me off, what am I to do?
But also, males who dress in drag, males who are obscessed with copying the sty;es of females, also turns me off, I mean if I don't like it when women dress, apply make up a certain way, I like it even less when a male does it.
So what do I like?, the following is what I like whether external or internal, regardless of gender.
1. Softness, soft soul, soft hands, soft feet and a soft demeanor.
2. Practicality, I like people who are practical, regardless of gender
3. Kindness, I like people who are kind, regardless of gender
4. Optimism, I like people who are positive, regardless of gender
5. Playfulness, I like people who are playful, regardless of gender
6. Spirited, I like people with spirit, regardless of gender
7. Courteous, I like courteous people, regardless of gender
8. Forgiving, I like people who are able to forgive, regardless of gender
9. Secure in self, I like people who are secure in self, regardless of gender, for if secure in self, they'll be secure in 'you'
10. Safe, I like people who are safe to be around, regardless of gender, people who won't lead you astray
And I'll stop there.
The above traits could lay within anyone, regardless of color, age, or gender, or nationality and so forth.
But here's where it gets complicated, in order to also be 'sexually' around by another with above traits, they also have to appeal to my body preference.
I mean when marry young, say at age 21, and your spouse in sexual prime, looks great and all, it's one thing to age together and both kind of fall out of sexual grace together at the same time.
But when single, and don't have any type of 'love history' with the person your seeking to pair with, than physical traits do matter (and anyone who says otherwise is lying)
And again, that's where it gets complicate for many, cause certain traits one may find attractive may not always be in the opposite sex, one could find all the above qualities in someone of the same sex, then what??
And again, outside of M/F marriage where purpose is to pro create, does it really matter who you're attracted to after a while??
What's the difference between dating a older woman, who doesn't want to have children, or already had with previous marriage or relationships, and or dating a younger 'cute' soft male who of course can't get pregnant no matter what.
But in either case, pro creation isn't apart of the equation, but rather the ability to get along and having things in common is.
I guess what I'm trying to say is if a woman can't, or unwilling to give me a biological family of my own, than after a while what purpose do, or should females have in my life?
If a woman can't give me my own off spring, which is the whole basis for male/female relationship, than what purpose does a female, or females serve to me?
Cause at that point, even if we did have 'sex', it would be totally for recreational purposes, the same way it would be if two males, or females did the same, pure recreation or comfort or whatever, but whatever it's purpose, it's not to pro create.
And if not pro creating with another, does it matter who you fall in love with or chose to?
Again, just asking question, for those who can't.
To be continued.
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Post by Admin on Nov 5, 2020 7:02:28 GMT
The title of this section not really a good fit for what I'm going to share, and what that is is the older I get the less sexual orientation matters to me, in fact the older I get the less anything sexual really matters, it all begins to seem like a mute point to me, and maybe that's because I'm a lone most of the time.
And to be frank, most people I see daily just don't look all that sexy to me anymore...be them males or females.
I'm around mainly working class types, not office types, office types do tend to dress up better and are more aware of their looks, but blue collar types could really care the less, particualry the males.
Males show up to work looking totally dull and bland with no sense of fashion, not sure how their wives tolerate them.
if I were a woman I'd expect for my 'man' to look decent all the time and well into our marriage or relationship.
But I think women are very territorial, and prefer they be the ones who 'stand out' and look good, in a relationship.
I think most women want their men to look dull and bland.
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Back to my point, and that is the older I get the less sexual orientation matters, I mean if one is not having sex, or never has it, what does it matter who one likes?
I mean if one is celebit, never has sex, what's it matter which gender one prefers to be around?
Me, I like body types, it's a person by person thing, not even a gender by gender thing...but let me put it like this, if you were to stand two people, a male and a female, whom I found equally attractive and told to begin a long term romantic relationship with only one, I'd chose the female.
But I'd still want to be friends with the male...why?, cause the female could give me my own family where as the male cannot.
But that aide, I'm not just attracted to females simply because they're females, there's so many other underlying qualities that must be in place other than just ones gender in order for me to be romantically curious about them.
Looking at most women, to me, is simply like looking at a man, at least where I stay.
The only reason why I can really see why one would need to be heterosexual is if they plan on pro-creating, otherwise what's it matter?, if not going to use other person to pro create with than what's it matter?
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Post by Admin on Mar 15, 2021 22:50:34 GMT
Can't really say I'm gay or straight or anything else, cause to me, to be 'straight' is about meaningless unless planning on getting married to a woman and procreating a family.
But what if don't fall in that catigory?
What if an adult and just single?, single for years, 5 years or decades, then what is your 'gender role'?...or does gender even matter if single and celebate?
Can one just be a loving soul without any gender being attached to it?...can Pastors or clergy see that far past their beak noses?
What if just lonely, and want companionship from anyone who will give it to you?, then what are you??
The whole male female dynamic makes sense to me only if able to attract opposite sex and get married, but if not, then what?...should spend all of adult life alone?
Not everyone can attract the opposite sex...it's not like in foreign nations where they have arranged marriages and all, in the West, where both men and women free to make their own choice, some are just not able to attract the opposite sex.
Then what?
What if a male, and another male does like you, and you're lonely as hell, and no one from church bothers contacting you outside of church service hours, then what, should you just spend your whole life alone, agonizing over loneliness cause a female or male not attracted to you??
You decide.
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Post by Admin on Jul 6, 2021 1:36:20 GMT
As a single 'M', can I at times want to feel beautiful to self in art, without others thinking I'm 'gay'?  Makes sense to me, not sure why not to others. I mean when single, celibate, what's wrong with a person wanting to feel beautiful to self at times? To me there's nothing wrong with that, and is why I so love the power of art.
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Post by Admin on Nov 26, 2021 1:29:52 GMT
What is marriage anymore?
Decided to write this here in the LGBTQ section, but could of written it anywhere, but what is marriage anymore?
I mean outside of planned and deliberate child rearing = traditional family, family unit, what is marriage anymore?
If two people are single, be they two guys, or a guy and a gal, who don NOT plan on having kids, or maybe their own are already grown, and out the house, than what really is marriage anymore?
I guess this is only the kind of question a older, single person would ask, and that would be me.
I guess I've gotten use to being alone, and seems most violence, domestic violence, always centers around relationship gone bad, be it roommates, or lovers, or romantic couples, married or not, gay or straight, doesn't matter, seems with people comes conflict.
And seems when you get married, you have to 'shrink' yourself down to the size of the other, and cater your whole world to them, they must become your priority and all, which is normal if have been in the dating, pairing game your whole life, but for someone like me, it just seems odd, I guess cause I've learned so much about self since being single for so long, and now that I've allowed other sides of self to blossom, not sure if I could ever stuff those sides back into a tiny box, just to make another feel 'at ease', unless that 'other' came with so much that it would be worth it, as if if that other were very wealthy and could provide for me for rest of life, then maybe, but even then people, we all, like our space to be ourselves, is why millionaires are always divorcing themselves.
I guess they thought just having 'sex' in a mansion would make their relationship last, nope.
And gay marriage?
Well seems once it become legal, all the noise just stopped, now you never hear about gay marriage in the news, no more protests, nothing.
It's as if the majority of people who are gay never really wanted to marry each other, but rather fool around, and most supposed gay men are switch hitters, committed to their wives by day, on C/L seeking fun at night from a male.
Gay orientated people are no better or worse at loving another, than anyone else.
And many, in the gay world, are very particular about looks, if don't look precisely like a model, or twink, or chub, or whatever it is they're into, they'll hold their nose up to you.
But I guess women do the same to guys on hetero dating sites, must look perfect in picture or else type of stuff.
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Will I ever get married?
I doubt it at this stage of my life and development, just don't see it happening anymore, not in my current social and work environment, just don't see it happening.
And that's kind of sad, considering that's all I really wanted, wished for, during my younger years.
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Post by Admin on Dec 15, 2021 1:36:34 GMT
Who decided long ago, whom you're supposed to be, and not supposed to be attracted to?
I think at times this whole labeling attraction in terms of gay/straight stuff has really screwed up mankind, sometimes I even think morality has done more to damage mankind than any other single thing.
And for the most part morality really hasn't helped anything, there's still plenty of violence, sexual assault, kidnappings, drugs, bribery, robbery, adultery, wars, envy, fights, shootings, stabbings, thievery, lying and more.
But in terms of attraction, to me that's such a personal niche, example, not all gay guys are attracted to all men.
Even if one is gay, they still have a very small particular niche of others they're aroused by, could be body types, hair style, eye color, weight, age, intellect and so forth.
And that attraction can cross into any gender for some.
Just like straight guys aren't attracted to women just because they're women.
I just don't get it at times, sexual attraction has been so demonized by certain societies, whether religious or not, doesn't matter, I mean in nations like Russia, or China, who claim there is no supreme god, many within their societies are still just sugarphobic, so where does that come from?
Do religious views on sexuality even permeate within secular societies?
All I know is when home alone, which millions are very night, many don't care what gender is attracted to them as long as the one who's attracted to you/them, is attractive back to you.
I know that sounds odd, but it's true.
Put two people who are attracted to one another, of the same gender, alone in a room or cabin for a week, give them some wine, and see what happens.
Or how about all those male 'pages', who were getting groped and hit up on be Senators and Congressmen a decade ago, when that scandal broke, what, you don't think that still goes on?
Morality, social morality simply makes, forces, people to hide how they really feel about others, or another.
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Post by Admin on Jan 27, 2022 12:34:12 GMT
For some reason, by accident, (meaning not on purpose), I notice I tend to get along with people who are lgbtq better than I do traditional hetero types.
And again, it's always be accident.
In real life I don't, none of us really, while in public or at work, ask people their orientations first, that's usually the least thing on our mind.
But over time, at least with me, I notice that those I always end up getting along with, turn out to be apart of the LGBTQ crowd, and eventually they'll reveal this to me in their own time, cause I never ask, why should I.
But it just seems once they feel comfortable with me as a person, they'll reveal that fact about themself in a conversations....like if it's a female, they'll say 'Oh me and my ex wife/lover' did this'.
In other words they'll let me know they're a Lesbian by sharing a story about them and their same sex lover.
Again, I never ask people their orientation, cause I really don't care, but just seems those I get along with best, through casual conversation, for some reason many of them end up being either gay or lesbian.
On the other hand it's traditional hetero types that are the most uneasy around me, on average, or closet types, and I think I know why but haven't time to go into the 'why' right now but will later.
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