Morning time thoughts and more

You would of thought I lived 3 lifetimes during my sleep these previous hours before waking up.

All the issues and passions and thoughts and ideas and possibilities, and fears and joys that the mind worked out, lived, explored, through the dreams I had.
I'm rested, but just saying, I wake up feeling like I've been on a long journey.

I wake up actually feeling good, relaxed and reset, and sure, even a bit groggy, but that's cause woke up at around 2 am, and fidgeded around for a bit, and so probably fell back asleep around 4 am.
It's one of those days so thankful didn't have to work.

I think the vast majority of meaningful life for me will have been spent internally, through my dreams.

Some people are born into vast wealth, and so for them being awake is always dreamy cause they don't have to deal with the day to day stuff, the day to day labor.
But for many of us, it's our day lives that suck, and so it's only through sleeping, and dreams, that we're whisked away into a broader subconsious realm of endless possibilities.



A world that makes sense, while asleep, but the minute we wake up, none of it seems logical.

It feels right, but it's not logical.

Anyways, this section here is for those morning time thoughts, those 'just woke up' thoughts.

That space or zone to adjust from Alice and wonderland dreamscape back into the one dimensional world of man and regulations and laws, and rent and bills, and wars and hardships, violence, hatred, bigotry and all the other perils of being flesh.

I don't think people who are in love, or even if not in love, at least have a companion in their life, I just don't think
such people ever wake up feeling like this.

Maybe they do, but such people rarely leave journals to read, or if do I've never read them, instead on the internet you always
read what 'experts' say.

Experts are about useless to me, I don't learn unless it's from the actual person going through the ordeal themself and writing about it, like I do.
That's why this blog journal is so rare and unique, cause it's written in first person format, no experts needed.
We're all experts at our own life experience.

Yes, the devil is tearing me apart.

Going forward, I'm not going to let people do me wrong anymore without me letting them know about it.

In the past, I was always trained to always think it was others who were better, nicer, more proper than I, but as I get older, I realize nothing could be further from the truth...people are monsters.

For years, I've been being nice to monsters, some of whom lack a conscious...will talk Jesus one minute while doing the devils bidding the minute after that.

Just tired of allowing others to walk on my kindness, tired of catering to other people's egos, not anymore, if I can help it.

I've got to head off to work here soon...I'm rarely on here pre-work time or period.
Heading out into the 'world' seems so barbaric to me at times.

Industry seems barbaric, in that no one shares in the vast wealth of this nation, us common peasant workers earn the same low wage regardless of how many billions and billions of dollars are generated by consumer spending...it's just a meaningless number to most of us out here.
Anyways, my rant before heading off into the industrial jungle.

I will do my best to shine to myself today, in a world that doesn't to much value me

I think I'll scan the news headlines, sometimes that relaxes me.
When I see, read, that others have far crazier, worse, or even better than I do, it helps me take the focus off of my own situation.
By reading the headline news, as negative as they can be, it helps remind me I'm not the center of the universe.