Current mood

Stranded



Stranded, that's kind of how I feel right now, and is a glimpse of current reality.

Not gonna lie, tomorrow seems like hell to me.
I have no use, zero use, for tomorrow.
To me, tomorrow is a monster.

Tomorrow will claim many victims, in many different ways.

One day, tomorrow will even claim me, but what can I do about it? Nothing, other than write ahead of time about how much I dread tomorrows

My mood has slightly improved since yesterday evening and into the night.
I have to work today, if nothing else, sometimes work can be a distraction from your mood.

Well, here I sit, late at night, gotta work tomorrow, and didn't have the most enjoyable off time.
I drank to much beer, what a waste, sometimes I can go sober for weeks, days, other times I cannot, although I never drink on days I have to work the following day.

My hairs growing longer, but I still look ugly, lol.
If have a ugly face, long hair really doesn't help, especially as you age, maybe when younger it does a little.
-----------------------

Not sure what my purpose on earth is anymore.
I went to a 'find this person or yourself page' and saw where they had all sorts of wrong information about me, and it did kind of make me upset, cause some people, maybe many, don't realize those sites are a scam/sham.

Oh well, I'll deal with it later, tried getting a defamation Lawyer so I could sue them, cause no telling how that's hurt my rep over the years.

Anyways, a few more minutes to kill and play with before bed.

Also, I've had books, an ebook, out for over a year, and haven't been paid squat for them, that I know of.
I tell you what, the publishing industry is one of the dirtiest industries out there, full of vipers and snakes and false lying promises, for sure.

Going forward I'll publish my own books rather than continue to get ripped off by a shady industry.

Ahh, moods, odd how quickly our moods can changed based on events, a call, a text, either for the better or worse.

It's all about our futures, I suppose...the more certainty we have in our futures, the happier we are in the now.

Cleansing yourself is always a weird physiological ordeal



In a odd physiological state right now.
So much is changing, has changed, in the last few months.
I left my old job and plotting a totally different future I could not have imagined just 2 full months ago.

Plus some other things happened, for the good.
Plus I'm trying to stop drinking, for the sake of my over all health, my mind, and ect.
And it's weird when you've got to actually deal with your thoughts, your feelings, your mood, without using booze to avoid doing so.

Just not sure how to feel right now.
Maybe be getting into a movie/theater/ training program with established people in the industry...it's all like a dream or something.

I'm not use to things working out, and or making the right decisions.
But I just had enough of going down the same ole boring, dead in career path.
It's either now that I try something different, or never.

Anyways, it's a quiet Friday night, still a lot of night left, but since not drinking right now, I usually end up snacking of food periodically...to much, actually.

Back to the 'to do list'.