Home Base

Time



Time, there's just not enough of it, especially when you need and want it.

All I want now is time, but daily I see, we all see, that time runs out for oh so many.

It's one reason why I stopped drinking cause I begin to see how much valuable time alcohol was robbing me of, alcohol was robbing me of precious time, hours and hours a day and night of time.

Not the drinking part, but the part after drinking, the sick feeling, the long half a day drowsy sleep you fall into, and then when wake up the depressed feeling you're in so still not in the mood to do anything.

Alcohol, the whole process of drinking, was robbing me of my time, so I decided to stop drinking.

Also, alcohol robs you of time by slowly or quickly destroying your health, so the longer you drink, the more time alcohol will rob you of by shaving a lot of years off of your life.

Time is so precious to me now, more precious than money, for even if I lose my ability to earn a income, as long as I still have 'time', I'll be OK, regardless of where I spend that time.

I feel Trumps frustration about being lied about

I, of all people, actually do feel Trumps pain and frustration about being lied about.

I've been lied about, have had unsubstantuated things suggested about 'self', and I yield no power, so can only imagine how much motivated those who 'want power' within political circles, would be willing to make up all sorts of lies about Donald J Trump.

It's not that big of a stretch at all, all people do is create a rumor, other people repeat it, others hear it, and it sticks, now the burden is up to the person the rumors about to disprove it, and that's near impossible, but that's how it works, whether in school, at a job or in politics, that's just how it works.

I'm actually disqusted with D.C. politics and politicians, all they do is back stab each other and write books that 'tell all', about very person or administration that trusted them.

All people do in D.C. is break each others trust, in prison, types like that get their azz destroyed, or even on the streets.

I don't believe Trump disrespected the military the way all these lying worms say he did, all these invisible sources and all.

I look at action, not rumors about a person, but I look at their actions.

I mean I thought the Republicans went pretty low under Obama, but now I think the Democrats have surpassed what the GOP did under Obama, the Dems have taken it to a whole new insane level of resistance at all costs.

Which really tells me there are behind the scenes world powers, like China, Russia, and other global rich families who really want Trump out of the way.

They want to go back to fiscally raping and draining America, and make it a global city, where votes stop mattering and where a perminant ruling class is ushered in.



I do believe it has something to do with the above 'order', you'd think that Trump was apart of it, or should of been, but obviously not, for if he was, they'd love him, but for some reason Trump rebelled.

Trump wants to bring the power back to the people, the Dems, from what I observe, just want to enrich self by selling America down the tubes, and all the while telling stupid voters..

'At least we're not racist, even though you're poor, broke, desolate, but at least we're not racist'

Bunch of crap if you ask me.

And Hell no I don't trust the black female vote, I don't trust the vote of people who can't even manage own neighborhoods, or cities or raise kids without them growing up to become felons by age 15.

And the cities that black females are in charge of are crime ridden, and corrupt.

Black females always chose 'thug' boyfriends, so why would I trust their judgment when it comes to a President?

But all Joe Biden has to say is 'Them Republicans gonna put ya'll back in chains'...and here comes the black female voters lined up to vote Democrat.

By the way, Joe Biden really did say that, look it up.

In closing, may the candidate who's best for the nation going forward win, but I'm just saying, if Democrats, or those who control them behind the scenes, so willing to lie and smear Trump, than not sure if I trust them anymore.

I don't, can't, trust any group that feels they must make up lies about another, just to win.

Again, I can relate to Trump on the being lied about thing, it's not a good feeling, especially when the liars never reveal who they are.

I feel for ya Trump, I really do.

Maria



The Maria in me.

Thank goodness for art.

If not for art I'd sufficate.

Art allows us to breathe, allows ones creative side to breathe.

In the above I feel like a 'Maria', peering over a balcony on an Island or maybe in Philly, I feel as though I just got done performing somewhere or about to, and feel as if young or younger and still aspiring.

There is a Maria in me for sure, but they only really get to live through art, kind of sad actually.

We all have so 'many' inside of us, but most trained to hide all of our plural sides and to keep them locked away in the basement, where as others of us not afraid to allow our other sides to peer out at times, and enjoy the sunshine.

And Maria is doing just that in the above portrait, peering out and pondering.

One of hundreds of characters lurking inside of me, all looking for their time to be in the sun, if not just for a few moments at a time, where when they do peer out I immortalize them through art.

i Mean this idea that I'm going to work more in a week, than be off, is so absurd to me now.

You may be asking 'well how will you pay your bills then?

Buy simply not spending as much, most of us forced to work jobs, hours, we don't like cause we simply spend way to much, waste 100's a month on stuff we really don't need.

The older you get the more you realize how much you don't need.
I don't have a care payment or anything, that helps, and actually my largest monthly expense is high speed internet with xfinity, and that's gotta end, they're charging way to much.

The fact that I'm even still thinking about work, tells me I worked to much last week.

If it continues, I'll quit, and find another schedule that suites me, not company I work for, but me, even if have to do the whole 'temp' type employment, where you work when you want.

I have to be in control of my schedule, thus life, thus health, going forward.

Not having the most fun or productive off time

Hate to keep complaining about this but it's effecting my off time, work/life balance that is.

When you're already agitated about going back to work, that means you don't have proper work/life balance.

I worked 4 long over night shifts last week, and it's still effecting me, shifts like that take a lot out of you, and nothing gets done even when 'off' cause you're sleeping to recover for next night, so to me it's like four days of nothing, a void....as if not even alive since not creating anything.

At my job I don't create nothing, when I'm off work, all I do is create 'writings', and 'art', and audio, and video and more....that's what makes me feel alive, not my job.

And what I hate about a bad work/life cycle is right when you finally recover, here comes work again hogging up all your energy, but when I have energy at work, it's wasted, cause I can't do nothing with that energy except 'duties' that are mundane and effort that won't ever be remembered.

As soon as my shift is over, I'm forgotten, and whatever I did is forgotten also, so it's like you were never there when things go right.

15 hours total, from befoe work, to commuting, settling in, that's a large swath of day spent doing absolutely nothing with meaning to me.

Zero value.

This, what I'm doing now, has value, cause will be read years from now or months, weeks, and entertain or help other folks down the road, or maybe they'll just laugh.

But to me, life is no laughting matter and every second counts...cause when down to last few hours or minutes of life, those hours, weeks, days or months wasted on stupid job will seem pointless.

But at least in art, music, song, writings, 'you' live on, long after body is gone.

It's scary how fast time goes when just beginning to find or get in creative groove, then next thing you know work approaches, that time when must totally bury self and become something you're not.

Like stripping down to nothing, becoming boring and bland, to put others at ease.

One more shift, thank goodness, then followed by a few days off strung together, where can come alive again and do what I love which is creating things, writing, art, abstract, exploring thought and more, that's called breathing to me.

Halloween approaches



I really do need some Halloween right now, I need that escape, that magical imaginary play time.

I like marking this time of the year for future references.