'Q' explored

Is this subject 'Q'?, you decide



"Hi, I don't think I'm anything other than 'me', not sure what being me has to do with the 'Q' word.

When I'm alone, all by myself, I just sometimes like to see myself in a softer light, well mainly for 'art's sake, or when reproducing myself, but if not taking pictures or videos, I have no need to look 'pretty' or 'elegant' to myself or anyone else.

I simply want the same range women have, in that women can dress like a man during the day, jeans, boots, T-shirts, but then at night can transform into a more seductive figure, well why can't males do the same?, and why can't males do the same with out having their orientation brought into question?

I mean just because I like looking 'cute' to self at times, doesn't mean I want some fat dude jumping atop me and doing the oogly moogly, no, not even.

Also, I'm already 'ugly' most of the time, when I wake up, when I go to bed, ect, so why would I want to reproduce the same 'ugly' image of self that I already see all the time, what fun is that?

And believe it or not it's just the rebel in me that likes dressing or appearing more 'fem' or 'soft' than society would ever imagine I could be.

I mean I walk into a store and by something and get the usual reaction 'Oh, this guy thinks their tough and bad and are probably danger, noise noise and more noise, as such I love coming home and totally presenting myself in a way store clerk or anyone else could never imagine, I love proving them wrong I suppose.

Not only that but in the end none of it matters, when old and withered, none of it will matter, not even our bodies will matter, and to me the body's like a canvas and so better use it, have fun with it while you can.

If I had a family, of course I wouldn't create 'art' like this, but I don't have a family, so have to deal with the reality dealt.

When alone, I guess in a way you become the whole family within that you don't have, you become the Parents of self, and you become child like to reflect how your kids would act if you had them, you become that whole family within one, in order to remain sane I guess.

Nature always seeks a balance, I say.

Am I gay?, not really sure what that means to be honest with you.

Let's try this, would I allow another male to hug me?, sure, why not, but I don't think that means one is gay, just means that one appreciates affection whether from a man or a pet dog or cat.

Would I let another man kiss me?, maybe if drunk, but if sober, nah.

Would I let another man try to impregnate me?
I tell you what, if another man could get me pregnant, sure, why not, that would be the miracle of miracles!

Would I let another man hold my hand, say if at place and watching TV or movie, sure, why not, just depends I suppose, I'm not so fragile that another guy holding my hand would 'break me', I'm just not that fragile.

When you're alone, isolated most of the time, you just tend to see things differently, and tend to appreciate any affection you get from anyone regardless of gender.

Naturally beautiful people totally take that for granted.

So in closing, I don't know if I'm 'Q' or not, I don't have any gay friends, and always alone, so just try to make the best out of being alone all the time by spicing it up with some theatrics now and then.'

Ye, I think when dealing with the hardships of life and older, in and out of depression, maybe even suicide thoughts at times, I don't think to such, being hugged by another male would bug them



It bugs me that those who have family's, who are well fed, sit around wondering what others do, how others get by, who have none of that?

Being 'alive' is a complex thing, societies are complex and not everyone has traditional support system or friends or anything, how do they comfort self?

I mean if a guy wanting to feel 'beautiful to self when all alone, so what, or even if a guy wants to feel, look beautiful in public, so what.

We need more beauty in this world, not less.

And if a guy wanting to look beautiful upsets another persons 'sensibilities', than so what, such a person is very 'small' to me.

Why are these 'W' sicko dude Pastor types in their 70's so worried about other peoples sexual orientations?

It's just gross.

Like past regret or something, and now that old and a living corpse, whatever.

Sissies are not transgendered souls



dizzysissytheater.blogspot.com/2022/04/sissies-are-not-transgendered-souls.html

Being a 'sissy' or getting is sissy mode, is more about attitude and less about gender.

Read the sissy blog and find out more.

I know this is way way off point, but B twinks are just ugly to me.

The whole idea of being a twink is to be cute, and semi fem looking, that's the whole point.

But online, at least, B twinks just look ugle, are always bald, short nappy hair with a masculine face.

I guess one has to be fully gay to like for another male to look masculine, that's how you know you're gay when you, as a male, are turned on by other males who look as masculine as you do.

But then you have another class of 'gay', proportioned gay types who seek feminality in either gender be it male or female.

(Be it every ones visual definition of what feminality is differs)

1st rule to me is one must be soft in appearance.

And B males in general, gay or not, always seem to look hard and tough and rough, and I just cannot visualize a hard and rough looking male as being a twink.

Even B women, online, often look and behave butch, have rough scarred looking feet with dagger like toenails that scare the hell out of me.

I'm aroused by people who are 1st and foremost graceful, and so many urban women don't know what grace is, they have thier own standard of beauty that I'm just not into nor do I understand and just totally turns me off.

But obviously other males like it, I most certainly do not.

I think whites, or rich people breed so that their offspring look beautiful, where as poor people just breed to breed, and is why usually poorer people look so rough or are short, ect.

Humans selectively breed for good traits, but not sure if people in the ghetto or even rural poor backwoods do.

But not to say that sometimes by genetic accident a beautiful person can come out of that.

But ye, to me, most B males just don't know how to be beautiful or graceful.

And it's odd for me to see a b dude with a face like Mike Tyson, on TV, or YT, talk about being gay.

Who are what is even turned on by a gay dude with a face like Mike Tyson??

Maybe if they were the aggressor sure, but how the F, if have a masculine face like Tyson or 50 cent the rapper, are you going to be fem?

And maybe that works for others, but it sure doesn't work for me. If you look masculine I'm going to relate to you that way, and if you look fem, I'll relate to you differently.
That's just how I'm wired I guess.

If you look more masculine than I do, than I expect you to be the caretaker, so to speak.

And if I look more masculine than you, than I take on the caretaker role, so to speak.

But then again that's just me, we're all so very different and have totally different standards when it comes to beauty and or arousel and even what foods we like.
Going to cut this post short, I've been distracted