|
|
Post by Admin on May 23, 2023 4:46:52 GMT
Sandbox  I feel like, at times, that I've been playing in one big sandbox my whole entire adult life. Entertaining self, all alone, inside of a sandbox. And then one day, you just wake up, and realize just how alone you really are.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on May 25, 2023 3:13:10 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jun 10, 2023 1:52:02 GMT
Even though I'm older than I've ever been, my hair is longer and more plush than it's ever been.Wish I had had this hair 10 or 20 years ago when it mattered. In the past, I'd always cut my hair for jobs, never again. Any job now, going forward, that wants me to cut my hair, isn't a job worth having. Hair is a sign of vitality and youth, why the F would I cut my hair for some stupid poverty wage job anymore?...heck no. For a million dollars, sure, but just for some two bit hourly wage job, heck no...I finally have long hair and kind of like it. 
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jun 18, 2023 17:43:36 GMT
I've gotta find myself quick.
Right now I'm just mentally drifting, drift wood, no direction, no purpose, nothing....that's not good for the human mind.
I need a new passion.
Normally, that passion is found through family, fighting for family, fighting so family can survive, but when don't have a family to fight for all there is is self.
Self is good, don't get me wrong, but sometimes we need more than self, in order to be enthused about life, especially as one ages.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jun 18, 2023 17:44:59 GMT
For many years, the internet provided that alternate universe, where you could dump thoughts, and convince self you mattered...but now, now that I see it for what it is, I'd be best to avoid that path as a way of finding fulfillment and comfort going forward.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jun 26, 2023 19:53:29 GMT
I do not answer the phone when caller ID says 'unknown'...I mean why would I?
And when have, in the past, there's nothing more frustrating than whomever it is, just not saying anything.
Now they know you're there, but you have no idea who it was, which can make you paranoid.
So now, no more will I answer the phone if it says 'unknown'....nor should you.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jun 27, 2023 0:15:54 GMT
Life has taught me that most of you out there are just ugly souled individuals, who's hearts are cold as ice.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jun 27, 2023 18:13:52 GMT
How to survive in da hood, as an outsider
Still a good read, will always be a good read.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jul 2, 2023 5:30:23 GMT
This is what I've learned.
Social media is emotional death for most.
Real life, real people, you see, can touch, matter way more than social media...
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jul 4, 2023 22:39:50 GMT
Ye, it's the 4th alright
Ye, it's the 4th (can't type the rest cause keyboard acting up)
So what.
Without friends and family to celebrate it with, so what.
About to go to store now though, corner store, and buy some whatever.
Black media conservatives annoy me, in that they're always trying to kiss the butt of the past, which was very ugly and violent in America if not 'white'.
Watch video, expand your mind.
Have a hot dog, what do I care...
Happy 4th.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jul 5, 2023 0:58:55 GMT
OK fine, happy 4th...  What do I care... Happy 4th anyways though...gosh dern it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jul 20, 2023 2:43:23 GMT
You really got to be careful who you talk to, or waste time going back and forth with, it can really waste your time and or drain your mental energy, and or even alter your mood in a bad way.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jul 20, 2023 2:45:22 GMT
And me, personally, don't like for people, family or not, who've never been there for me in decades, or a decade, telling me how I should take care of myself.
The only person who has taken care of me over the years, is me, not anyone else...as such, no one gets to lecture me about anything, cause if I had died 5 years ago or longer back, no one who dares lecture me 'today', would of even cared.
I'm my own caretaker, it's me, who's gotten me this far in life, not anyone else.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jul 20, 2023 3:01:06 GMT
Nor do I like others, who have no intention of ever being there for me, telling me about 'god', their god, the god in their mind.
Not only that, most of the people I get judged by, probably believe in god, and think that just because they're uncomfortable in my presence that some how that makes me 'bad' or 'dirty', not cause I am, but cause their god tells them I am.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jul 22, 2023 15:38:56 GMT
I'm changing a lot, as of late, like morphing on the inside into something I wasn't 2 months ago.
I think we all go through changes like that in life, as we age, as new challengers are presented, different concerns and worries on our minds and so forth.
Do I like my inner new direction?
I don't know.
I think we get more serious, when times appear to be more serious, or our situations do.
For years, I laughed and played with self, when not concerned with the future, when just thought everything would be OK, and all would turn out right, having that mindset tends to relax you and keeps you young minded.
Playfulness is always a sign of being relaxed and confident on the inside, the less we play, the less relaxed we are.
So, why am I not as relaxed now as I was, say, a year ago?
Living concerns?
Aging concerns?
Societal concerns?
Maybe I feel now that that magic bubble around me is beginning to fade, and that reality is beginning to win the day.
But reality doesn't have to be bad, reality is ours to shape, if of the proper mindset and heart to do so.
|
|
