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Sunday
Nov 7, 2021 13:16:36 GMT
Post by Admin on Nov 7, 2021 13:16:36 GMT
Sunday  Sunday, what else can I say.
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Sunday
Nov 7, 2021 13:21:13 GMT
Post by Admin on Nov 7, 2021 13:21:13 GMT
Yep, today's Sunday, I really shouldn't complain though, cause for the last year or so, I don't have to work on Mondays, so Sundays are more like Saturdays, time wise, or work schedule wise. But Sundays still feel like Sundays to me, like wearing a lead suit, they just feel heavy, and full of burden, and that's called 'conditioning', cause for so many years Sunday was for me the day before 'hell'. Anyways, nothing planned for today, still trying to recover from Friday. Yet another week closer to my eventual demise. (what a dark way to look at it) I need to get back into NFL football, I think my Sundays were more enjoyable back when more into sport.  |
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Sunday
Jan 23, 2022 22:16:55 GMT
Post by Admin on Jan 23, 2022 22:16:55 GMT
Not sure why I feel so dark and gloomy today, I mean it hasn't been a terrible day, got a project done, a book writing one, so it's not like it's been a day filled with agony and pain, yet for some reason I just feel godawful doom and gloomy on the inside.
And tomorrow, actually suppose to go 'flying', yet a short 30 minute flight with someone, yet I feel all gloomy right now.
I don't know, maybe it's just cause I'm not loved and touched enough, touched as in hugged, you know, stuff lovers give one another or family or relatives, maybe I'm just starved of love and affection, who knows.
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Sunday
Jan 23, 2022 22:18:17 GMT
Post by Admin on Jan 23, 2022 22:18:17 GMT
And also will start filling out a application to see if I quality for a VA home loan, I mean why not, why not, if I do, fine, if not, fine, but I have to try, just can't keep going down this same road of nothingness.
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Sunday
Jan 23, 2022 22:21:40 GMT
Post by Admin on Jan 23, 2022 22:21:40 GMT
I think just sitting in front of computer for to long in and of itself can have a depressing effect on me.
Filling this form out, filling that form out, that in and of itself can be depressing.
And whatever form you're filling out you never have all the information, so what should of taken less than 20 minutes ends up stretching out over hours, even days, sometimes a week, all that effort, just to still have your application for whatever rejected, that's a lot of wasted time and energy.
I've been in this somber mood since yesterday, not sure why.
One week I'm jogging daily, now this week or time off, I feel sluggish and a bit depressed.
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Sunday
Jan 30, 2022 15:32:08 GMT
Post by Admin on Jan 30, 2022 15:32:08 GMT
Good grief, it's Sunday again Oh Sunday Sunday go away, but since you're here what shall we play? The only one getting played is me, by life. Oh what shall I do today? where will my mood lead me? Will today be about as useless as yesterday for me in the over all scheme of things? A cup of coffee, and we shall see. It's sunny out, cool. Now I just need for the sun to shine within my soul and things will be OK.
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Sunday
Jan 30, 2022 17:10:22 GMT
Post by Admin on Jan 30, 2022 17:10:22 GMT
I just cannot get it into gear today, just want to lay back down and sleep and dream.  |
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Sunday
Feb 20, 2022 14:53:24 GMT
Post by Admin on Feb 20, 2022 14:53:24 GMT
It's Sunday again  It's Sunday again, time to get up and move about. Have to do some shopping today, need some food, not to much though. Sometimes I wish there were 50 hours to a day, at least on the days I don't have to work, I could get so much more done. But if there were 50 hours in a normal work day, think how much more hours employers would require people to work. But then again, if there were 50 hours in a day, you could easily have two jobs, but who'd want that, there should be more to life than just laboring away for pennies.
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Sunday
Mar 27, 2022 4:50:03 GMT
Post by Admin on Mar 27, 2022 4:50:03 GMT
Sunday already?
But early Sunday morning, like not even 1 am yet, so if out partying, which I never do anymore, technaly it's still pretty much Saturday.
But I'm home, where it's safe and boring, and if want a date, I'll have to get on the internet and imagine.
Not sure why Pastors are so against that, F what a pastor thinks.
Not everyone has a family or a wife so those who don't have to fill that void in other ways.
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Sunday
Apr 17, 2022 19:09:36 GMT
Post by Admin on Apr 17, 2022 19:09:36 GMT
I don't feel so hot on this Sunday, drank and got wild on the phone last night, and the after effects of drinking have spilled into this brand new day.
I haven't done anything meaningful today, but then again do I ever?
As bad as I feel my night went yesterday, it could have been worse I suppose.
I mean just read the headlines, fights, shots, deaths, accidents, wars.
So having one bad night drinking isn't the end of the world for me compared to what others got into.
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Sunday
Apr 17, 2022 19:11:22 GMT
Post by Admin on Apr 17, 2022 19:11:22 GMT
And to lazy to go shopping.
Oh well, will force self to do something here soon.
My past doesn't exist anymore, threw old paper address book in river out of fit of rage that no one is ever there for me, ever.
Alcohol got the better of me last night, emotionally, that's for sure.
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Sunday
Apr 25, 2022 1:47:03 GMT
Post by Admin on Apr 25, 2022 1:47:03 GMT
I think social media, over the years, has really harmed my ability to concentrate
Between social media, and my past drinking, I think both have really harmed my ability to concentrate on anything for more than 5-15 minutes.
People who make things happen concentrate on one thing for days at a time, weeks, months, even years at a time, not minutes.
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Sunday
Apr 25, 2022 1:48:56 GMT
Post by Admin on Apr 25, 2022 1:48:56 GMT
I don't know why I feel so flat today, on this Sunday.
I think I just need love in my life, to be honest with you.
But that's easier said than done.
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Sunday
May 9, 2022 2:07:30 GMT
Post by Admin on May 9, 2022 2:07:30 GMT
 Today is Sunday, and I worked today. Probably the first Sunday I've worked in over 5 years. I filled in for another. Now I'm home, and in my mind it feels more like Saturday. That aside, I'm home, just grateful to be home and safe for now. Safety is always just a temporary status though, but when am safe, I'm grateful for it. |
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Sunday
Jun 12, 2022 11:41:20 GMT
Post by Admin on Jun 12, 2022 11:41:20 GMT
It's Sunday  here's a slightly younger version of myself taken about a decade ago or so, or less, I forget, cause time passes by fast after a while. Being plural in life, I think and know, is the natural state of everyone, but in societies most get stuck in roles, traditional roles, and in those roles you're really only allowed to express one side of yourself, with the exception being actors and performers who get to change roles all the time. But most every day people cannot, other than when Halloween rolls around. I enjoy going back and examining my younger self, and making comparisons, and glad I took pictures of myself when younger to reflect upon now, cause if I didn't no one else would have and I'd forget about my younger self. And reexamining younger self also helps to inspire me today, and reminds me of a time when I felt more joyous and the world didn't seem so bad or dangerous to me. I think back when I took the above photo of self, I was in a happier spot, a more playful spot, life didn't seem so scary, the future didn't seem as scary, and I felt that I was in control, even when things went bad, I still felt as if ultimately I was in control, I guess you can call that youthful zeal or cockiness. But I'd rather be cocky than to lack confidence in this brutal world. I'm still happy go lucky most of the time, but enebidly we all do eventually change. My art, portait art, has helped me to cope over the years, to project fears, joys, hopes, and possibilities. But right now it's Sunday, and I'm not in the past anymore, I'm in the 'now'...so the question is what does 'now', today, have for me or what do I have for it? We shall see. yep, it's Sunday again.
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