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Post by Admin on Oct 28, 2024 23:51:08 GMT
Monday thoughts 
Hasn't been the most inspiring day for me, not at all.I must of drank more heavier than I thought last night...I should know better, but that's what lonliness will do to you at times. And I still may have a few tonight, rather than continuing to feel like this for rest of evening. Drinking makes you irresponsible for real. Makes you paranoid, irresponsible, lazy, and even sickly, if you over do it. Aside from my own personal issues, not much else to say. It's been a boring dud day, and if filled the majority of my time, once out of bed, writing gibberish on line as I'm doing here...gibberish. I guess that could some up my life as of now... gibberish.
It's Monday, Halloween's in a few days.
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Post by Admin on Oct 29, 2024 4:55:45 GMT
You'd think I'd no better than to start drinking again...cause I'm here to say that since I have, wow, all the things that went away, have come back. Body aches, cracking joints, stiff neck muscles, and just other negative things that go away when I stop drinking. So why do I drink then? Habit, I guess, to escape feeling lonely at times. But I can still turn it around, and must. I mean if I'm going to be alive, I at least want to feel good while alive, even if things aren't going my way. And also, when drunk, I end up talking to some of the most slime ball people on earth, out there on those streets, people I'd never ever talk to when sober.  If I were younger and looked better...lol, I'd probably get raped out there on those streets the way I be acting sometimes towards others when drunk. Raped or beat up or both. |
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Post by Admin on Oct 30, 2024 5:25:09 GMT
My body loves me when I take care of it and don't drink.
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Post by Admin on Oct 30, 2024 17:21:24 GMT
I literally feel like a biological hot rod right now...simply cause I've been working out consistently lately and not drinking as much...and I'm still not in athletic shape.
I mean my gosh, what a biological monster I would have been had I played sports when younger....and never drank.
Although I actully never started drinking until early 30's, believe it or not, is probably why I'm still so healthy cause I started drinking way later in life after body was already developed, is my guess.
And I never did drugs, that helps to.
Nor do I do prescription drugs, heck no.
But anyways...I got all this revved up natural energy now, so what do I do with it?
Time is moving by way to fast.
Already worked out today, and just came from the DMV, where I for the first time ever, bought a personalized plate, not the lettering, just the plate.
I think I need to go to the post office next and get a P.O. Box, again, in case I end up moving.
Cause you can only get a P.O. Box if you have a physical house address, for some odd reason.
But if I move, and already have the PO box, it won't matter, I could be homeless and still have access to the box.
And I'd rather be homeless and alive, than go back to what I was doing before, which was driving, and being hidden inside the cab of a truck for dreadfully long hours at a time.
I've never felt so alive since quiting my last job.
I'd get off work feeling oh so miserable, no one would talk to you, talk about a grim work environment.
Would literally rather be homeless and alive, and clean, than go back to that.
Anyways, not homeless, so still rent to pay here soon and other bills.
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Post by Admin on Nov 5, 2024 3:13:42 GMT
Booze literally like tears down your body, and I can say this from real life experience.
When I stop drinking, I feel so very whole, no pain, no joint pain, no ringing in the ears, I just feel healthy and complete.
But when I start drinking, again, all the stuff that plagues me comes back, slowly but surely it comes back...usually if I drink more than 3 times per week, meaning 3 times and like more than 4 beers, but usually with me, 4 beers is never enough, more like 8 cans of beer, maybe 9, when really feeling it, then bed.
The more you drink the more you need...but when I sustain for weeks, or months, of course 1-4 beers feels like a whole gallon or more to the body.
Bottom line, alcohol destroys the bodies immune system, which allows you to get sick easier, get colds, get this and that.
I'd probably be dead, like so many other drinkers, if not for me working out all the time and keeping fit and watching my diet, which is a lot of fruit, salads, vitamins and no white sugar or lots of sweats...although now they sneak that stuff into your food under different names.
I just need to stop drinking...I'm not going to live forever, but while alive in this body I at least want to be comfortable and not in pain and discomfort.
I'm also glad I never started smoking, but sometimes chew tobacco, I need to stop that habit to.
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Post by Admin on Nov 14, 2024 12:46:18 GMT
Energy is coming back, but what do I do with it?Haven't drank in a few days, energy is coming back, health is coming back, but what do I do with it? Dumb question if you're a normally adjusted person (Is anyone truly normal or properly adjusted though?) That aside, yes, my energy is surging back, but my mind is still stuck on stupid. Now that not drinking, I wake up earlier which means I'm awake longer which means I get tortured more by my current reality and by my past stupid as hell decisions, many of which I made while drunk. I have no friends, no one to lean on, so what do you expect me to do but to dwell on stuff at times...writing helps, for sure. And later, going to take car to shop to get wheels balanced...that sucks, cause the minute mechanics touch your vehicle, it's never ever the same. They always fail to put a part back, or put a part back wrong, and then claim, like the devils some of them are 'Err, it was already like that'. But I have no choice cause vehicle was vibrating more so than it usually does. Life sucks. Life doesn't suck, but man and his rules, his ways do. Anyways, I'm awake now, so life, the devil, God, people, society, ghosts, spirits, gremlins, bugs, and anything else can begin torturing me now, cause I'm awake. 
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