|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 5, 2023 19:09:52 GMT
It would make sense for me to go workout now.
I notice, whenever I least feel like working out, is usually when you should.
I drank last night, and the day before, and probably will today as well, after I torture myself by making self go workout.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jan 28, 2024 6:30:01 GMT
 I need to stop drinking for a while, I think body has reached it's limit. I think I over did it last week. Muscle pain came back, lower back was stiff and sore, could barely walk upright and proper do to back discomfort (almost back to normal now) But I just think, know, when drink to much or to many days in a row, body begins to break down. Life is much more fun (even when things are going wrong) when healthy. About twice a year, I just get to that point where I know I must stop drinking. Drinking has cost me a lot, over the years; has revealed a lot to me, but has also cost me a lot as well. |
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Feb 13, 2024 4:07:17 GMT
I don't think my problems would seem as big and large to me, if I'd just stop drinking.
I mainly only drink beer, but still, if you drink enough beer, it has the same effect as liquor.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Mar 24, 2024 18:56:47 GMT
To me, one of the more anticipated consequences of not drinking is watching the body weight begin to drop  To me, one of the better consequences of not drinking is watching the body weight begin to drop. It takes a few days though, but when it starts happening, it makes stepping onto the scale fun again. It hasn't been a full week yet, but still, I just think, know, my body needed a break from beer, booze. I don't really feel any happier though, but my moods are for sure more stable. Slept in long and late, as such, the first activity of today will be to go workout, as in find a place to walk. That means getting dressed, grooming and whatever else gets me up and out of here. If, when, I ever leave, I will miss this place, for sure, cause it's so calm, within my place...even though I despise the community, or those in it, and their habits, around my place, but at least within my own place it's calm and quiet. Oh well, time to get up and go do something...it's Sunday.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Apr 5, 2024 1:36:04 GMT
I only had one beer tonight, good, and will pour the other one down the drain.
I'm tired of drinking, tired of the effects it has on my general mood, outlook and ability to focus, concentrate, make smart decisions, and even to be happy.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Apr 10, 2024 21:29:57 GMT
I straight up like myself, my life, better when I'm sober.
I'm creating a new life for myself, a life where I may be called to go show up somewhere in a whim, as such, I can't afford to have alcohol get in the way of that, not now, to much as stake.
I have a decent newer used car, paid for, school, course work, paid for, so all I have to do is sit back and be responsible and just try my best.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Apr 12, 2024 15:27:52 GMT
I'm hoping being enrolled in school will help me cut back on drinking, cause when in school, (this is not a traditional school, as in there is no classroom, rather you work with a mentor 'on set', and during many projects)
But still, people see you, are around you, and the last thing you want them to see is your ugly 'drunk or drinking face'.
And or you never know when be needed and called upon, and if they need you, and you're drinking or drunk, your reliability factor begins to drop, and that effects your reputation.
So, I'm hoping accountability to others, will help me to stop drinking.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on May 1, 2024 9:11:32 GMT
I'm not drunk or drinking right now, but was drunk and drinking hours ago, as in maybe 6 or 7.
Now I'm awake, it's early morning, still dark, and feel pretty good, why?
Probably cause I'm slowly winning the battle, I'm working out near daily now, and well, I just feel better than I should.
Fitness is winning out, I suppose.
Drinking when unfit really makes you feel lousy.
Drinking a lot of beer at once, shouldn't be done, period, but I notice when done so while in shape, you don't feel as bad afterwords, you don't get that long lingering hang over effect.
--------------------------------
For sure, the road back to sobriety isn't a easy one, for you have to learn what to do with your moods and emotions and even energy, when not drinking.
The highs and lows are what make you want to drink, when you're sober.
Drinking like spikes your highs and lows, and that's what emotionally addictive and makes you want to drink when sober.
It's all about emotional calibration, I'm learning.
Not to much coffee or to much of anything. Being sober is all about regulation your emotions own your own without substances to boost or hamper that process.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jun 14, 2024 19:14:24 GMT
So far no booze today
So far no booze today...I need a break from drinking beer, I've lost to much time to post recovery drinking or hang over period, sometimes a whole day of productivity is lost.
I'm taking a film course right now, and if have a hope of competing with these new better looking, brighter, lighter people...LOL, than I need all the brain power I can muster, and when drunk, can't really muster much brain power, that's for sure.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jun 15, 2024 8:05:09 GMT
Friday night came and went, and I didn't drink.
I was in the studio today and realized how ill equipped I was to compete with minds much younger than mine.
All I really have is the ability to motivate others, and usually that happens when I'm drunk, cause I brag, boast, and say things I normally wouldn't when sober, oddly enough.
But I did motivate the owner of that studio, but was drunk when did so, and said some things that probably needed to be said, cause I saw a difference today from both him and his main assistant, ideas I told them to do, they're directly implementing...but of course, I won't get credit for it, you know how that goes.
But anyways, ye, I need a clear sober mind if I want to stand a chance at anything meaningful going forward.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jun 19, 2024 2:05:54 GMT
I just ate a bunch of food, sort of, after downing a few beers, which means I'm trying to put myself to sleep...sad, I know, but it is what it is.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jun 25, 2024 5:06:32 GMT
My life would be so much more efficient, if I just stopped drinking.
Drinking really does take away your motivation.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jun 30, 2024 18:37:06 GMT
Right now, at this moment, is when I'd normally feel justified in having a drink
I'm emotionally primed to drink right now, here's why.
1. Haven't drank all week, so feeling way better than I did last week at this time.
2. Just got back from visiting some relatives, one, my niece, didn't even know we were related. It was fun, they're in like the 5th grade, and I gave them some money.
3. I'm at the pinnical of the or my week and I feel good.
This is normally when I'd drink, for sure, to cap off my emotions and take them to yet another level, that's just what I'm used to doing, I'm used to zoning out right about now by drinking...but again, it's been a week, I feel better than I have in a long while, so why would I ruin it?
I don't know, it's what drinkers do, we hi-jack our own swell moments by convincing ourselves that a few drinks won't hurt...but it never stops at one or two beers, to a drinker, that's absurd, and 1-2 beers turns into 4, than 6, than 8, if still awake..
So what will I do?
I don't know, I never like to pressure myself by saying what I'm going to or not going to do until moment or situation done...time will tell, and so will I, when this day is over.
Maybe I'll have some beer, maybe I won't, we shall see....and that's being realistic folks.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jul 3, 2024 20:48:54 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Jul 8, 2024 6:15:11 GMT
I've gone another 7 days without drinking, after blowing it last Sunday...but this time, for some reason, I just don't feel as good as I did last week. Last week I just felt healthier after 6 days of not drinking, and happier...this week, or today, not so much. In fact, I've felt better when drinking, than I do now. Who knows. At least I made it a whole week, so what, there'll be other obsticles to face, you can bet on that.  |
|
